




Essential oils for Mama Moods from lil omm yoga on Vimeo.
In the meantime, I leave you with this mantra…
and a collection of great reads that have truly helped and supported myself and other mamas in the lil omm community.
and finally this short, sweet at-home practice I made just for my mamas…
Yoga for Moms from lil omm yoga on Vimeo.
Milo and Lord Monti at The Jefferson Hotel (on a Monday night 🙂
Okay, so I recently posted a picture of my kiddos in a cab heading home from a totally wonderful adventure on a {gasp} school night. We went to The Jefferson Hotel to attend the Leash Party with Lord Monti and the crew. It was a blast! We took the metro after school and while we were on the train I said to the kids,”WHAT IF WE DID THIS EVERY MONDAY? Just get on the train to somewhere new like a museum or a park or just a new neighborhood to walk around?” They loved the idea and from there our new idea was born!
But in many ways, it’s a long time coming.
If you have physically been near me AT ALL in the past few months you keep hearing me say the same thing… “I don’t think I want to be in DC anymore. It’s not where my heart is, my values are not aligned with the values here. I can’t take all the stress put on adults (and children) to work, strive, compete, and overachieve. I’m SAD about all the people in my world who think WORK IS LIFE AND LIFE IS WORK. I want more joy, freedom, and LIFE in every day and yes, I know we still have to pay bills, go to appointments and be grown ups here BUT I believe in my heart of hearts that there is another way.
I know many North American families are living this way, but I truly see DC as a vast land of super smart, super “successful” people who are burning each other out with the competitive “I work more than you do. I sleep less than you do. I do more than you do” kind of attitude. I’m SLOWLY and MINDFULLY starting a “NOT ANYMORE” revolution within our community. I’m working each day to support women to SIMPLIFY their lives; to go back to the basics of personal values and missions in order to identify what areas TRULY serve them and which drain them.
We do this in REALLY accessible ways, like adding in healthy foods, making time for journaling and meditation practices into our daily lives, etc. And yes, it’s not always easy– sometimes there is discomfort and fear when we LET GO of the “way it has to be” or “the way it SHOULD be.”
Okay, in all honesty there is actually LOTS of discomfort and fear but we know that going in. We are strong and brave and we don’t let that stop us from truly living our own lives, NOT the ones our parents wanted for us, not the ones we are so afraid to let go of, and -I think this is HUGE- we hit pause in forcing our kiddos into the same patterns. We wake up and realize that the world DOES not look, feel, act one way and we start to stand in our own truth, strength and meaning for our own lives. By doing so we allow our children to be their own unique, beautiful, magical beings and we say goodbye to what school they MUST go to, what sport they MUST play, or the delusion that we know what their path will be. Yep, hard, I know.
Back to the cab story…
So meanwhile the past few months I keep saying, “I think I want to leave DC. It’s not working for me.” And since I am doing LOADS of work on mindset and limiting beliefs these days last night it was like “AGH! DUH! Change it up!”
Here is what I asked myself… “why do you keep saying that? What is it that you don’t like? Is that TRUE? Is that REALLY true? How would you feel if you did not have that thought anymore? And how can you turn it around?” These questions are all all based on thework.com– thank you Byron Katie!
And thus, our Magical Mischievous Mondays were born out of a need for THIS mama to push back a bit on HOW life HAS to be. I know that many folks in my area have a set weekly routine (and yes I do believe in structure) and the kids are very busy with after school activities, but I also know that we are SO LUCKY to live in this great town, in a great area with a metro RIGHT next to school! And I realize that if I am feeling trapped, it’s my own fault. It’s my own self-limiting belief.
Since I run my family calendar and make most of the plans, it’s up to ME to show them how great DC is. It’s up to me to lead our family and to take advantage for what is right around town. There are only so many years left with these kiddos and I want to feel every one of them. And yes, some weeks might be hard and yep- I’m sure Milo will have a tantrum somewhere and it will suck BUT I also know that the inspiration and motivation that I FEEL to try something new is FOR SURE going to rub off on them..
This morning Milo said, “Mama, when we go on our next adventure can we go check out a skate park or a bowling alley?”
“SURE!” I said. “We can make a list of places and ideas!”
Want to start your own magical adventure? Here are my tips.
P.S. When I was a kiddo my dad and grandfather took me hiking. I HATED it. I complained the WHOLE time. I cried. I fussed. I did NOT want to go, ever! But they did not really care. They continued to put me in the car and encouraged me to get in the woods. They did not change their minds or say we did not have to go just because I did not want to go. They were not afraid of my tantrums or my demands. Now, as an adult WHENEVER I feel lost or flustered or distracted or not grounded, where do I go? INTO THE WOODS. I go and I feel them. I sometimes think my grandfather is right there with me and I sense him. I see the slow steady pace of my dad and I feel comforted and supported by all those childhood walks. Why is this important? We have no idea how our choices and actions as parents are going to effect our kiddos. We have no idea what we will give them as tools for their future BUT I do know that my dad and grandfather were not taking those walks to teach me anything or to improve my skills in any way- they just honestly loved walking in the woods. They did it for their own health, their own well being. So in many ways, just knowing that I needed a bit of a break from the norm is what will make the memories for them. I am not really doing this for them although I’m SUPER excited to share it with them. I’m doing it for me!
Why Retreat?
Retreat FAQs
What if I don’t know anyone? You’re already one of us—you seek connection, rest, and nourishment and so do we! It won’t take long to break the ice and feel open and comfortable with the group.
What if I have a food/allergy concern? E-mail us and we’ll find a solution.
What if I’ve never done yoga or meditation? You’re in for a treat! We’ll enjoy all levels practices for all ages, stages, and sizes.
Is it possible to arrive early or stay late? Maybe! Please contact the venue directly.
What if I have to cancel? Your registration is non-refundable, however you are able to transfer registration to someone else (ie. sell you spot). Keep in mind, this is a gift and investment in yourself.
What does it mean to THRIVE?
For me, it means this: the picture above. Thriving means smiling, loving, FEELING the world, hearing my friends and family, being ALIVE, being real, seeking truth, playing and holding hands. Thriving is embracing what is.
I experienced all of this on the night I was closing the studio. A night that I never pictured COULD happen. A place I loved so much CLOSING?!?! This night brought me to tears and to laughter. My mouth hurt the next day from smiling so much, my eyes hurt from crying. What a glorious, beautiful evening.
What got me through it all? All of the conflicting emotions and the ups and downs? My well being practices. These are the ways to keep your life in check, in flow and truly manageable EVEN when your entire world around you is changing, EVEN when things are hard- especially when things are hard.
Here’s what happened: as I started going through the process of closing the studio, I tightened up on some regular practices that I KNEW I would need to get me through an emotionally and financially difficult time. I became very grounded and rooted in these practices as a way to truly process the BIG emotions I was having. And these practices, while having been in my life for years now became MORE POWERFUL than ever. And this is what I want for YOU.
As soon as I got over the studio closing and embarking on new projects, I broke my foot. I had to check in with all the Thrive Principles again! This was another experience that COULD have been miserable, but my THRIVE foundation has taught me how to gracefully handle ALL the things that life brings to me. Thrive principles teach me how to sit with fear and anger, how to nourish myself when things get hard, AND how to prioritize my own health and well being so that I feel healthy and clear about where I am in ALL the areas of my life. Honestly, this feels like an invaluable gift to my life and also to those around me! I want to share this gift with you.
Choose Joy. Find Ease. Keep it Simple.
Thrive is all of this. Thriving is a WAY OF LIFE. A WAY TO BE where you feel empowered and in your body. Where your connection to yourself DEEPENS and even when tough things come your way- you navigate them with strength and grace. People have asked me for years what do you do? How do you do it? And so, Thrive is kind of a pulling back of the curtains, showing you, and giving you all the tools and resources I use (books, articles, podcasts, journaling prompts, recipes, and more). It’s a behind the scenes where I get up close and personal as a way to inspire you, to support you, to give you ideas and to establish a way for you to see THAT YOU CAN HAVE/ BE/ DO this all too! It’s already inside of you- it’s already part of who you are, as a human, as a woman. So let’s uncover it all together… you deserve this!
Thrivers use SIMPLE AND EASY well being practices to engage in their lives. That’s it. Nothing fancy, nothing promised to you or for you. The group support and engagement and process is ALL UP TO YOU. YOU take the reigns for your life, you learn HOW to engage in these practices and overcome problems and challenges and mindsets that are LIMITING YOU from THRIVING.
You see, because if I want it more than you- it won’t happen. The Thrive course is for people who KNOW IT IS TIME to figure out a way to be healthy EVEN when life is full and busy and distracted and confusing. Or for people who want to establish evidence /science-based practice for health and living well in ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE. It’s all connected- how we spend our money, eat our food, move our body, treat our children, envision our lives, and the thoughts we think.. . these are the things that make up our days and our lives.
We all have self-limiting thoughts or perceived obstacles and once we start to SMASH them… WOW! We realize, “Hmm this is not so hard! Learning how to care for myself can be FUN and interesting and the benefits to all areas of my life are TRULY limitless.”
Limitless possibility. That is what YOU TRULY are. All of us are limitless.
Want in? Sign up here. Registration ends Friday, 6/17.
Here’s what one Thriver wrote:
“We all know we need to eat less and move more, but I was looking for a more comprehensive approach to a healthy lifestyle. Thrive is a course that focuses on all aspects of wellness – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Over the eight weeks, I learned the importance of establishing healthy routines in every area of my life and that these routines become habits over time, which then become automatic. All of Pleasance’s research-based advice is invaluable, and includes strategies for establishing healthy bedtime and morning rituals, which enable better patterns of exercise and mindful eating. I was most surprised by how much I enjoyed and benefited from the week on meditation. Never having explored a meditation practice previously, I couldn’t have imagined the mental clarity and calm that comes from just 5-10 minutes of stillness in my day.”- AB
Another Thriver shares her experience here. Listen now.
PS. We ran this class in the Spring and you know what- THEY ARE ALL TAKING THE COURSE AGAIN THIS SUMMER! I give my THRIVERS lifetime access and they are all coming back to take it again! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!?
My friend Alex asked me to participate in this blog tour and my answer was ” HELL YES!” I love having Alex in my life as we share so many interests and are raising are kids in the same neighborhood, co- teaching together and just generally support one another in the work we do to support families through the good and the bad.
And this topic means SO MUCH TO ME.
As someone who formerly struggled with overwhelm and the “crazy-busy” syndrome I am passionate about spreading the self care, mama love message to all who are ready to make the changes. It all starts with us.
Without guilt, without fear, without despair.
We can build lives that matter for ourselves, for our own joy and on our own terms.
You have permission.
The Find Balance Feel Joy Blog Tour was born to provide an honest look at what goes into “having it all” or “getting it right” as a modern mother today.
My journey begins and ends with yoga. Yoga has led me to interesting cool places in my heart and on the map. Yoga teachers and teachings have given me strength, courage and confidence to FULLY EMBRACE my own me, my own way, my own heart.
Slow, quiet practice filled with breath and movement linked to soul- now THAT can change your life.
This journey of study, contemplation, reflection and movement is a powerful combination. It led me HOME to my true self, to my own way of being that encouraged me to switch careers, take risks and LOVE my children in ways I did not even know possible.
But, all b/c I began to put myself at the top of the list. Listening to my own heart and soul.
Carving out time for creativity, rest and quiet. saying NO to the schedules and parties and needs and desires of others, in order to put my family TRULY first.
You can do your own thing, find your own way… but it takes a bit of practice.
Self awareness, self knowledge is the path to freedom. A path to joy and living WHOLE in a world that so often wants to break you down. You see, there is a deeper place within- that lives- that wants to be heard. But we have to slow down enough to hear her.
Welcome to sacred ordinary life. A life in which dishes and laundry still have to be done alongside a deep respect for our home, our families and our lives. It looks like candles in the kitchen, relaxing music playing while cooking dinner or bringing other rituals and routines into our lives and SHARING them with our children. It looks like having enough space and peace in our own heart to deal with the chaos around.
It looks like getting the help we need at home and at work, in order to truly discover who we are , and where our own joy lies. This is where
Approaching ALL the moments with a sense of wonder and curiosity – even to the little things. This approach ( to our yoga practice and to our life) can profoundly shift the mindset… the choices we make, the space we hold. And helps us to see the thought patterns that are not serving us.. the ones we need to let go of.
Intentionally place yoga mats, meditation pillows and other reminders in your home so that you can practice together as a family OR so that you have a place to go to when you need it! ( I sometimes go to my mat RIGHT before they get home from school to give myself some nourishment right before the dinner/ bedtime rush) and then I find myself so much more patient and loving and interested when they walk in the door.
Read inspiring books or listen to podcasts about yoga, meditation, mindfulness and creating joy.
I always try to find women who are doing what I want to do and asking- WHAT DO YOU READ? What are your routines? What can I learn from you? I KNOW there are mentors and supporters out there- so I seek them out- and ask lots of questions so I can learn how to do this whole mama/ life/ work/ balance thing. This also helps me discern for my own life what works and what doesn’t.. and clarify my own values and mission ( which I am constantly refining)
Glance at your life ( ZOOM OUT) and see what parts are causing stress. Is there anything you can DO about it? if not, what other things need to be released in order to make time for YOU while you continue to have uncontrollable stress? let’s have a healthy relationship with our stress- not trying to FIGHT it or get rid of it- but more realizing it’s apart of our modern life.
Challenge Homework! Spend a day with yourself. Plan it now. Put on the calendar. Carve out the time to take yourself out on a date. Reflect and get quiet. meditate and stretch. journal and create or just be. no tv, no phone, no netflix.
Dear mama, it’s all so real this life thing….so intense, so emotional, so transitional and the only thing we can truly, truly control is our own breath right at this moment. Our own glance, gaze, word, thought or action.
With a grateful heart,
P.
About Alex
Alex launched In Essence Coaching, LLC in 2011 after training with the International Coaching Academy to become a Certified Professional Coach. She is an active member of the International Coaching Federation, committed to upholding a high level of coaching standard.
Prior to this, Alexandra dedicated 18 years of her professional career to social change as an international development researcher and practitioner. She got her BA in Environmental Studies from Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada and her MPhil in Development Studies from the Institute of Development Studies at the University of Sussex in the U.K. She’s lived and worked in Africa, Europe, South and North America, and speaks English, French, Portuguese and Spanish.
In Essence Coaching, LLC is Alexandra’s private coaching practice dedicated to helping mothers suffering from stress, to find balance, joy and self-empowerment. She hosts a free Clear Mind | Present Mama Challengefor busy mothers suffering from overwhelm, offers on-line Calm Mom Coaching Circles to mothers everywhere, and works one-on-one with a small group of women through her Mama inJOY Mentorship Program.
Alexandra loves her coaching projects second only to her three mischievous and vivacious children and her loving (ever patient) husband who now (after three international moves!!) live, love and laugh together in Washington D.C.
Don’t miss the Mom’s Up Retreat this fall co-hosted by Alex and myself in Meadowkirk, Virginia (just 1 hour away from DC). Learn more about the retreat, accommodation packages, and more.
I see you there, afraid to shine.
Questioning.
Wondering what to do next?
Who you are, now?
How did my life get like this?
Where and why did I get lost along the way?
The daily life of to do, to be, to impress, and I don’t even know who I am?
I hear you, mama.
I know you feel like you have to give YOU up to be there for them.
But, what if you didn’t? What if you GET to be you and be a good mom.
You are okay, just as you are.
You shine, they see you & love you so much. Stop to notice that.
In the moments you are cooking and folding and washing and racing, the eyes are big, look at me, mama.. I see you, they say.
They know who you are, without all the layers that are weighing you down.
You are good. You are kind. You are love.
I see you mama. Come with me, let’s embrace who WE are, in order to love them more.
To live our lives with our own strong, wild and fabulous song.
Let them SEE US LIVE. NOT DROWN.
Today, May I be happy and free. May I put My own joy at the top of my list.
May I allow small, simple, beautiful actions to be enough. Pause. Breathe. Notice.
May I give love and in return be kind and generous to myself, first.
May I make myself a priority. May I breathe deeply, stretch my miraculous body and
remember to take good care of it.
#allthefeels
I wrote this poem today inspired by some conversations I have had recently with my friends who ask good questions. A few of the ladies in my life, who wonder, do I have to sacrifice my joy to be a mom? is this just how it is? Is there happiness and health and education more important than mine? My answer is no. They are not to be compared. Let’s do both. Let’s take good care of ourselves AND our children.
I wrote a book about it, in fact. for all women, not just mamas. Delight is coming in April.
The book will give you practical strategies to find your way home to yourself, with the purpose of bringing more ease and joy in your daily life. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.
I use simple yoga and meditation tools and principals and share my journey to joy.
The book will be free when it comes out April 14, if you want to help me spread the word and get a copy- email pleasance@lilomm.com and I’ll put you on the list.
With a big heart,
P.
Here is a collection of thoughts on ways our community wants to move forward into this week, month, life- with intention, purpose and SELF LOVE. Hope some of these ideas inspire YOU to create your own list of ways to show yourself love, and thoughts on what you NEED to be and feel love.
When we feel loved… goals and ideas on living.
Observe more.
1x a week make time for myself to do something I enjoy.
Take time each day to play with my son.
When I feel loved, I notice the fresh air,
Get more sleep at least 7 hours at night and nap when possible.
To give myself more appreciation time and space to celebrate what’ I’ve done, just me.
When I start to criticize or doubt myself notice, stop and try to tell myself the opposite.
Exercise regularly. Yoga, walk, run
I feel like I can do anything.
Say I love you and thank you more often.
Take joy in the small things
I feel calm.
When I feel loved, I move.
Don’t feel bad about needing help.
Start a home yoga practice.
Remind myself that the Universe loves and cares for me. TRUST.
Make a decision and let it go. Right or wrong move on.
Drink More Water – at least 8 glass a day.
When I feel loved, I know life is not so hard.
I feel authentic.
When I feel loved, I pause before I say yes.
Post “TRUST LIFE” affirmations.
Start each day by breathing deeply for 5 minutes ( instead of reaching for my phone to check emails and plan my day)
I feel grateful.
Start going to yoga classes on a regular basis.
Not feel guilty for taking time for myself.
Tell myself I’m worth it.
* Join us for our MOMS UP Program coming this summer to lil omm yoga.