I’m back…..

In February, I stopped writing here.

“It makes sense to put everything on the lil omm website” I thought.

When working on updating  biz websites, branding and offerings  there are a lot of SHOULDS.

And truth be told, the past year I was writing less & less about my personal life and more and more about “what coaches should write”

How to…

Top 5 ways to…

The REAL reason….

Do you get the point? Writing.. just for my soul, was not really on the to- do list.

Writing, to just share behind the scenes of parenting with intention, growing, raising a family and a biz, and just being plain old me- was not really on the agenda anymore.

So.. I stopped the deeply personal stuff, and I went down the road of what I “should ” be doing.

Now, let me say this. It’s been GREAT. I am very happy to have the skills and strengths to be able to do that kind of writing and to TRULY help people through tips and tricks and coaching experiments that help our students.

AND.. I miss sharing my life. I miss writing to just write- to just wake up and say- oh man, this GREAT thing happened or this totally shitty thing happened.

And my whole mind and body started spinning on this, WHAT CAN I DO?

another book? another biz? another blog?

And then, I just decided. I’m coming home to lilommlife.com THIS IS WHERE I shared about my babies, my mama, my meditation practice, my heart.

And I know, I know these blogs SHOULD NOT be like your diary ( FYI, I have one of those too, but I call it my “journal” of course) Yet, at the same time..

I am a sharer. Just ask my mom. As a kid I would talk to everyone, asking them about their lives and sharing about mine. I am a writer. As a kid, I kept journals and wrote stories and made them up in my head. As a kid, I was a reader. And I would get LOST and I mean LOST in the stories. I am so empathic and sensitive that I would cry about and grieve the loss of the characters when the book was over, b/c I would get so wrapped up in the stories that I lost touch with my own reality.

But, I’m not doing this for you- I’m doing this for me.

I want to wake up, land here and be able to talk about the big and little moments of life NOT TO SELL ANYONE ANYTHING. Not so that you will hire me to work with you or mentor you- not to teach anything or DO anything. JUST TO BE. Just to write.

Oh man, it feels good to be back.

Oh and I don’t have these go through editing, etc. so please, be patient with me.

I write so fast, thoughts flying that I go back as much as I can to try to clean it up.. but I’m human and I miss stuff, so there’s that.

I’m doing this for my own stories, our own life so that one day, Saylor and Milo can look back and read this and KNOW what this was like. And I know that stories can heal us all. That sharing can unite us and there are so many ways, we are so alike. Common Human Experience.

I went through the pictures on the blog this morning and man, my babies are so little- so cute- so happy, just a moment in time…

Today, I write this and Milo turned 6, 2 days ago and Saylor is 9.5.

We are in a whole new world, a whole new phase AND it’s magical too.

I LITERALLY have said this EVERY SINGLE STAGE since they were born…

” I think this is my favorite” b/c the truth is, LIFE is my favorite.

I can’t believe how much I love being alive, TRULY. EVEN WHEN it’s SUPER DUPER HARD. Even when I have to answer a million emails, even when I have to cook dinner, ever. single. day-

* please note, this was NOT always the case. I’m ready to write more about the dark times too. I’m ready to share about the depression and the lost and lonely days. *

I love life. I love the beauty and the pain, the sun AND the rain. When you step back- you notice, “wow, it’s all truly a miracle” I’m only going to be here a hot minute, and then I’ll be magical stardust floating about.. I’ll be in another body, shape, time..

This glorious morning when I woke up, felt my breath and my body and had the gift to rise. To plug in my tiny, beautiful flower lights so that I could sit and meditate for just a few minutes, b/c my whole body wanted to come here and WRITE.

TO FIND A WAY TO WRITE here again.

and I felt edgy, and heavy and dull.. and then with some green juice and coffee and walking the dog, I started to feel better. The closer I got to releasing the creative energy that had been building and building and building.. until my mind was racing and I was going to explode- they say this about writers.. YOU CAN’T NOT WRITE. You just can’t.

And if you do.. you go crazy. that’s how I felt, like I was starting to lose it.

And now, I have THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE, ear to ear really- feels good to be home.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Anne Lamott

Time for a detox….

Nope, not food.  There will not be any green juice recipes here.

It’s time to step WAY back and detox, declutter your technology, your life to make space, to find calm and peace and to handle whatever stress is currently brewing. Many of you have reached out and said that you are not okay, that you’re having trouble sleeping, that you’re REALLY suffering from the pain of the world, you feel anxious, on edge, and overwhelmed by ALL The things.

In order to create clean systems and simplicity to have MORE SPACE for joy, we have to energetically CLEAR IT ALL OUT!

We have to wipe the slate clean. Time to PURGE. In order to evolve and flow with what 2017 is going to bring us, we have to do some massive energy clearing to make space for WHATEVER is about to come into our lives. WE CANNOT KEEP ADDING IT ON.

We cannot keep over scheduling, overeating, and overindulging in media and distractions.

Well, I mean, you can- but tell me how that’s working for you?

And in our modern lives it means. . .

  1. APPS on your phone. Time to clean out all the apps you DO NOT USE.
  2. Repeat above on ALL your devices.
  3. Clean out your drawers. Yep. 1 a week. Clean a drawer. Then do your closets. Don’t wait for Spring cleaning. Don’t live in extremes (cleaning 1 room for 8 hours in one day, anyone else do that?). Make tidying and clearing PART of your regular life so that you always have space for new things, ideas, creations, WHATEVER it is that life brings. I find TREMENDOUS mental clarity from doing 1 little clearing project a week, 1 hour a day or 1 project at a time. That is how I inevitably cleaned out my STORAGE basement and turned it into the beautiful yoga studio it is now.
  4. Don’t know where to fit this in? Add your 1 hour or 1 project a week to your model calendar as a way to MAKE SURE you remember to work on it! Oh. . . and I ALWAYS add joy to my project time. . . wine or music or a new show I’m watching. How is your model calendar these days? Is it working? email me, pleasance@lilomm.com, if not, let’s talk about how we can get you on track.
  5. UNSUBSCRIBE from everything that is no longer SERVING you, as many things as possible. (You get to define this for your current season of life)
  6. If you need media limits, give them to yourself. If you are VERY sensitive about what you hear on the news, don’t watch the news before bed. Be intentional with when you consume. Consume things that may possibly upset you, with tea, oils, candles – something that is also relaxing. I subscribed to the Washington Post and I read the newspaper in my comfy chair with my coffee in the mornings. I have recently given myself a Facebook detox and I’m taking a break from scrolling on Facebook. I want to have a bit more integration of what I read and consume and this was the best way for me to do that, right now- to trade my digital subscriptions for the old fashioned papers. I feel MUCH more in touch with my own emotions and actions during the day and I don’t feel like a rubber band of highs and lows throughout my days. I have also found that I have more specific time for action when I consume mindfully and do not overindulge.
  7. Just like anything, NOT TOO TIGHT, NOT TOO LOOSE.
  8. I think of media and “STUFF” and noise not as bad but manageable in moderation. When I take a good, clear look at how I’m living, I can see where I’m overindulging and I’m WAY more in tune as to why something feels draining or depleting. A regular energy check in helps with all of this. Do you feel tight? Nervous? Fearful? Have headaches, stomach aches, jaw clenches? These are all the PHYSICAL signs that out bodies are saying- LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! It’s too much! Your body MAY be craving quiet, rest, or silence. You are NOT your thoughts or your head, alone- SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pay attention to your body’s whispers. It has so much intelligence. And like I keep saying. . . WE NEED YOU FOR THE LONG HAUL.

Still stuck?  Here are my go-to tips for handing the overindulgence of anything. (Thanks for the inspiration Michael Hyatt). From money, to body, to schedule, to movement, to cooking….

  1. Accept responsibility
  2. Confront your fears
  3. Drop the drama
  4. Keep it all in perspective
  5. Triage your calendar (most important and urgent things only!)
  6. REST
  7. Do next important task/thing
  8. Decide to change your mindset and wake up to limiting beliefs

From here, I am able to handle the reality of what is happening.

I personally think BURN OUT SUCKS. It leads me to be.. cranky, tired, irritable, unmotivated, unhealthy, negative and resentful. So, the MOMENT I notice these attitudes popping up- I check myself… hmmm.. is this burn out? Is there something I need to shift so that my natural state (generous, calm, peaceful, loving, open) has room to breathe?!?!?!  I’m NOT saying that we should EVER push away emotions that we have or that we ever want to STRIVE to be a certain way all the time. It’s more like a curious investigation into self when something arises to say. What’s the truth here, really?

Quiet.

It started so fast and with such an intensity and then between the baby noise and the life noise and the studio noise… life just got to be too much.

I held the weight of it all in my body. In my racing and running. SCARED to slow it all down.

Years later, confidence and clarity abound.

Freedom and flexibility. Expansion.

I never knew if I just took REALLY good care of the basics, that I would learn to trust myself.

The season has changed. Now my babies are other PEOPLE living in my home. With preferences and moods and demands and smells and messy rooms and unflushed toilets.

And there is no greater, deeper, purer (is that a word?) love.

Sweet spot. Kids at same school, living a charmed life,  they are..and I know this too will pass. They will move on or out. I will get older. I will loose people I love. Things will change.

The simplicity of our lives together, all in the same home. We get along. We fit together. Right now, it works really well.

I have no idea what the future holds. I dream BIG dreams for my life and wonder who they will be, where they will live and how often I will get to see them and hold them…

I don’t drift off to far in the future, the present has too much to offer.

So I get quiet, a lot. I notice that I REALLY want to grow something.. I can feel Spring coming. In some ways, I am not ready to let go of Winter. I’m not ready for the season to change, AGAIN. I want to stay cozy and home and quiet and keep them close and wonder-FULL.

The sweetness of ordinary life, being lived.

 

Take Your Pulse

What does it mean to take your pulse?

Seasonally, CHECK IN.

Here is a SUPER Simple way to do it…

Think of 1-10.

10 being AWESOME and 1 being YIKES

Look over the topics and areas of life below and think about where you fall in that area, right now! In this season of life. Also, if something below is not part of your values or your life, then feel free to say N/A!

Once you KNOW generally where you are, you have a much better foundation from which to plan on what the HIGHEST priority for you to focus your attention and energy on.

Physical Health

Mental Well Being

Environment (work, home)

Finances

Relationships

Careers/ Purpose

Growth/ Intelligence

Pure JOY! /Hobbies

Spirituality

If you want to make slow, steady shifts in your life, it’s super important to take your own pulse regularly to see what areas really need your love. Give yourself permission to let the others go for now, or move to the back of the priority list, AND BE OKAY WITH THAT! Think about it this way, once you establish a habit, routine, and a relationship with one area and it’s SET, then you can ALWAYS bring your attention to a new area. NOT in a beat yourself up, never enough way but more a .. yeah- right now I’m focusing on establishing a meditation practice ( or whatever) so I’m not going to spend a lot of time and energy ALSO trying to start a journaling practice….  Especially since we know, we can’t do ALL the things, ALL the time.

Give yourself room to breathe. Oh, and email me pleasance@lilomm.com  with any insights- I LOVE hearing from you!

Daily Intentions, Simplified.

Want to have more intentionality in your life every day?

Okay, this will help . . . Grab your journal and give yourself 10-20 minutes.

  1. How do you want to feel in your life EVERY DAY?  Radiant? Energetic? Healthy? Beautiful? Thoughtful? Free? Creative? Productive? Connected? Loving? Helpful? Contributing? Wealthy? Mindful? Aware? Truthful?
  2. Make a list of what you value and what feelings are associated with that value.  For example, I value reading and writing. I want to feel FREE and spacious enough to make the time to read and write, every day! So, my values and my feelings are aligned. *And I know it may not happen EVERY, EVERY day- but it’s happening MOST days.
  3. Think about how your days and your life are currently planned out to support these feelings and values. . . or maybe how they are not, yet!
  4. Make a list of a few things you can add to your life now to help you cultivate the feelings you WANT to have each day or to validate what you are already doing. For example, I make time to prepare healthy food for my family a few times a week. This is high on my feeling connected, healthy and loving list. So, when I do it, I remind myself that my actions are aligned with my values. This REALLY helps prevent the whole thought loop of-” I never get anything done. I’m so far behind. I should…”
  5. Now, look at everything you just mapped out- and start to play with some ideas for your Word of the Year. This does not have to be too complicated. Look at all the areas you just mapped out and ask yourself- what is calling to me? What patterns do I notice? You get to choose something that feels awesome with the direction, motivation and place that you are in right now. It’s not for anyone else or to prove anything. It’s just a way to guide you through this year. Just a theme that you get to weave into your life and SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
  6. Choose your word of the year and it email over to me! (pleasance@lilomm.com) jot down in a few places (index card, bathroom, car, notes on your phone) your word to remind you throughout the year. CHECK in with yourself every few weeks or months with these same practices above and see where your word is showing up and let me know how it goes. I’m ALWAYS shocked at the end of the year how my word showed up, guided me, helped me, whispered to me. It’s a fun and meaningful way to engage more deeply with your daily life.