Thanks liz gilbert

Thank you liz gilbert. this is so spot on.


Dear Ones –

My whole life, I’ve defined myself as a low-energy person. For years, I would have told you that I get run-down easily, and I’ve always needed about 10 hours of sleep a day to get by. (8 hours is minimum, but 10 is ideal.) I would have told you that I am susceptible to every cold and virus out there, and that, on a group trip, I will for sure be the first person to get sick. On a hike, I would be the first one to quit. I have always been somebody who falls asleep in movies, in class, on park benches. I’ve been known to go visit people at their offices, and ask if they have a supply closet somewhere that I can take a nap.

But that’s all changed in the last few years. I’m 46 now and I have more energy than I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve finally discovered what is (for me, at least) the secret to having more energy. It’s not a supplement, not a beverage, not a diet, not a ground-breaking new exercise regime.

It’s much simpler than that.

Here’s what I’ve realized: If I want more energy, I don’t need to go out and find more energy from some outside source. I only need stop wasting the energy that I already possess on stupid shit.

For most of my life, the reason I was so lethargic was because I was pouring my energy into various external emotional black holes. These black holes included: strings of bad romantic relationships, nasty breakups and desperate sexual encounters; co-dependent or toxic or otherwise exhausting friendships; the thankless work of trying to please people who cannot be pleased; the equally thankless work of trying to save people who don’t really want to be saved; the TOTALLY thankless work of trying to get somebody to love me who doesn’t want to love me; getting involved in other people’s business that is none of my business; trying to pretend I was somebody I am not; spending money on things I didn’t really want or need in order to soothe myself from my latest emotional horror show; taking on tasks (out guilt or duty) that I was never equipped for or good at; denying myself self-care out of a sense of low self-worth; wearing myself out by digging deep pits in which to bury my pathologies rather than healing them…

There were more black holes, but that’s a good starter list.

Any of it sound familiar?

All of those things take energy. Metric shit-tons of energy. So much energy that, of course, by the end of each day I had nothing left for myself. (In fact, I usually STARTED each day with nothing left for myself.)

So I walked around for years saying, “Man, I have such low energy! Maybe I should eat more flax seeds, or something?”


It ain’t about the flax seeds. (Although flax seeds are very nice, don’t get me wrong. But it ain’t about the flax seeds.)

The truth is, as I have learned in recent years, I actually have TONS of energy. I’m a person who was born to be on fire with life. But the reason I was so exhausted until very recently, was because I spent most of my life leaking my energy out (pouring it out really) into all the wrong places.If you blew through energy like I blew through energy, you will be out of energy very quickly, too. For me to say, “Jeez, I just don’t have enough energy!” is like Mike Tyson saying, as he faces bankruptcy after blowing through his 400 million dollar fortune: “Jeez, I just didn’t earn enough money!”

No, Mike Tyson. You did not go bankrupt because you weren’t given enough money. You went bankrupt because you bought 10 mansions, 100 luxury cars, a golden bathtub, and THREE ALBINO TIGERS!

And no, Liz Gilbert, you were not tired because you didn’t have enough energy, or because you weren’t drinking enough water. You were tired because you YOU TRADED EVERY MOLECULE OF ENERGY YOU HAD FOR DRAMA AND TRAUMA.

Fucked up interpersonal relationships were my albino tigers, you guys. Toxic friendships were my golden bathtubs. Trying to please, change, seduce, or fix every single person I met were my 100 luxury cars. It all bled me dry.

The transformation for me came when I started asking myself “Where is my energy going?” instead of asking, “How can I get more energy?”

When I saw where my energy was going, and decided that I didn’t want it going there anymore — that’s when everything started to change. I realized that I had made my life too big, too crazy, too out-of-control. I couldn’t begin to feel the magnitude of my own energy until I learned to create boundaries. Or how to excuse myself from other’s people’s dramas. Or how to stop inventing dramas of my own, the way kids carelessly play with matches until eventually they burn something down. Or how to stop pretending to be happy when I’m not. Or how to accept the fact that the only person I can change is myself (and even then — BARELY!) Or how to get out of the “I will rescue you if you rescue me!” business. Or how to learn to stop saying “Yeah, sure!” when what I really meant to say was “Hell, no!” Or how to measure friendship not by how many “friends” I have, but how deep and true the love is with the tiny number of people whom I can actually trust with my life. Or how to learn to forgive myself and others, and shake it off, and move on.

I write this message to you this fine morning, having just come back from a five-mile run. My thirty-year-old self couldn’t have run five FEET, because she was so weary, so spent, so tired, so jacked-up and wiped out and bone dry and aching and depleted. But my day is just getting started, and I’m fire with all that is to be done. Gonna work on a new book today. Gonna check in with my peeps. Gonna get on my knees at some point and pray. Gonna cook a nice dinner tonight. Gonna laugh with my husband.

Suddenly there aren’t enough hours in the day for all that I want to be, all that I want to do, and for the tiny handful of people who I actually love with all my heart.

Life is smaller than it used to be for me, but so, so, SO much bigger.

So, of course…now I have to ask you: Where is your energy going? What is your albino tiger? What can you let go of, to gain access to the power that is already inside you?


Worth Sharing.

My friend Michelle sent this to me, from Elizabeth Gilbert’s FB page. I LOVE THIS.

I wanted to put it here on the blog so it would not get lost and so those who just wander over here time to time, would be able to find it , read it and contemplate.

Hope it stirs up some shit for you- helps you get clear- and let go of the crap you don’t need anymore.

it’s your life- set the intention. Who KNOWS where it will go- and what will happen between now and then..

11695963_865522170196566_1785908972700735732_nDear Ones —
So this little quote showed up on my Instagram feed the other day, and it hit me in the guts — like “OOF!”

I can’t stop thinking about this idea, so I thought maybe I should share it here and open up the conversation around this concept.

First of all — does everyone understand what the quote is saying?

Here’s the simpler translation:

“If you don’t have a plan for where you’re going to be in five years, then — after five years has passed — you will still be exactly where you are right now.”

Holy cow. That’s bracing.

A little scary. A little exciting.

Look — maybe you absolutely love your life, exactly where you are right now. Maybe you feel like, “If my life looks just like this in five years, then I will be the luckiest person in the world.” If so — awesome! Just keep going just as you are, you blessed soul, and count your lucky stars.

But maybe you can’t bear your life where it is right now. Or maybe you feel stuck and you want to shift things for yourself. Or maybe you like your life, but you dream of something new.

If you haven’t put some kind of concrete plan in place for how to change things, then it is very likely that five years will pass (more quickly than you can imagine) and you will “already be there” — which is to say, you will still be right here.

So let’s talk about making plans.

My wonderful husband always says that our past doesn’t matter nearly as much as our PERCEPTION of our future. So let’s carefully try to perceive our futures in the best possible light. If you can imagine that your future might hold some promise, some difference, some transformation…then happiness can start to grow, even in this present moment.

What might it take, to perceive a different future for yourself, five years down the line?

I’ve heard that the only way to make your dreams come true is to begin by writing them down. I do think this is the truth. Writing down your goals and dreams creates a disturbance in the universe — calls down the attention of your guiding spirits. Writing down your goals also causes a disturbance in your own soul — wakes you up, and makes you take notice of your own desires.

So this is my Friday challenge, everyone. Take a moment today and write down exactly where you want to be in five years. Be honest. Be brave. Be ambitious. Be aspirational.

Who do you want to be spending your time with (romantically, or otherwise) five years from now?

Where do you want to be living?

What do you want your health to look like?

What do you want your creativity to look like?

Where do you want to be working?

What do you want to have put behind you by then?

If you are dreaming of an escape plan, what might that escape plan look like?

How much money will it take to make that dream come true — REALLY?

What are you willing to give up, in order to have what you really want?

Do you honestly need all the things (and people) that you think you need, or might there be a smoother, simpler way?

And what steps can you imagine beginning to take right now…to transport you from HERE to THERE.

Because one way or another, five years is going to pass. In half a decade, you will either be standing exactly where you are right now, or you will be standing somewhere completely new. You might even have turned into SOMEBODY completely new. (Biological science teaches us, after all, that five years from now, every cell in your body will have been replaced, and thus you will be a completely different biological entity than you are right now. Talk about a resurrection story! Pretty cool, right? So how about becoming a completely different emotional entity, as well?)

I made my list this morning: WHERE LIZ WANTS TO BE IN FIVE YEARS.

My list surprised me. My list involves getting rid of even more of my material belongings, giving more to charity, and living on a beach. My list involves a lot of travel with the people I love most. My list involves a trip to Japan. My trip involves driving across Greenland, and walking trip along the coast of New Zealand. My list involves writing for a TV show. (WHO KNEW?) Most of all, my list involves a radical emotional shift in the way I handle resentment, forgiveness, anxiety blame and shame — which might mean I need to be doing some serious work on my psyche over the next five years.

OK, then! I’m up for it!

I didn’t even know I wanted all these things…but apparently I really want these things.

Now that I have seen it all written down, it has become real. Now I must work toward getting there.

What about you?

Five years from now. Picture it.


Make it real.

I’ll meet you in five years, everyone — and we can compare notes!