There’s this woman who I see pretty much every day. She’s a mama in my hood. She’s beautiful. Not in a glamorous- make up- highlighted hair -crazy busy- kind of way but a totally natural, calm, confident and simple way. I watch her. I see her at pick up and drop off. I see her at CVS and Starbucks. I see her on the street, in fact I started seeing her outside of the neighborhood also. We don’t say hi.

We don’t know each other, we only met a few times when our kids were babies.

But, I watch her. I think that what I find so fascinating is that I “know her.”

I know she has 2 kids.

I know she works at least part time b/c occasionally I see her in heels and a skirt and going into the metro. I know her life is full,  taking her children to activities, making food, living a life.

And yet, she is calm and collected and present.

Is it so rare to find a woman like this that she stands out to me as a diamond in the rough?

I don’t think I have ever seen her on her phone and she’s not dying her hair.

She just is as she is.

I NEVER get the impression that she is trying to be anyone other than the woman she is. I saw her the other day, seated at the local Burger spot, sipping a beer reading a book. something I do when I’m alone, maybe I’m attracted to her b/c of our similarities, maybe bc/ in our close knit community, it’s kind of odd that we are not actually friends and that we don’t chit chat.  Sometimes I feel like keeping the distance is a practice.

My norm is to attach myself to anyone I feel connected to and then love up on them.

I adore close relationships.

It’s like a game for me to keep my distance, to not connect to not get to know her better.

My practice is just to let her be.

Earlier this year, I went to a leadership training with horses.

In no time at all, I connected physically and emotionally to our horse.  The trainer who noticed this right away encouraged me to relax and accept, to stop stroking the horse, to lean back a bit and let the horse come to me. The trainer said ” I bet you have no trouble connecting with people, holding others, drawing them in. Your practice is going to be to accept. To receive. To stand back a bit. Don’t try so hard, connection is so easy for you to initiate. Relax. ”