uncertainty.

It’s everywhere.

words of confusion and sadness. words of hope and faith.

you see, right now. in this moment. I want silence. I want truth.

I want it all to be known. It’s just not how life works.

we can’t have it that way.

In one moment, your life is flowing along with alarm clocks, missing socks, “what’s for dinner?” and checking Facebook, living life.

The next minute, paralyzed by the realities of being human. by loss. by love.

and slow motion sets in. fogginess. holding it together for others. the pain lifts a bit and then comes crashing back down. it is hard to breathe. hard to swallow. hard to know but I ask, I always ask- What’s happening. and the truth is- all of it. we live with all of it.

the sweetness that only love can bring and the pain that only love can bring.

last year, at this time, I was here scared. I was facing a terribly difficult decision about my future.  the cool weather reminds me of that time. feeling alone. feeling isolated. feeling it all. in one way, wanting things to be different than they had been and in other ways wanting them TO. ALWAYS. STAY. THE. SAME.  { I know, right… oh the beauty of attachments and aversions}

meanwhile, now I’m stronger, braver, wiser about my decisions. my commitments, my capacity to “do hard things” all while living a totally normal life. Not one of fame or glory but just of ease and joy. and since I change daily, and life changes moment by moment- those JOYS will too. STAY CURIOUS. KEEP ENGAGED. I remind myself of that every day.

ESPECIALLY when it gets really hard.

I face the unknown, we all do.

the common human experience of waiting.  right now I whisper TRUST.

life happens as it should. that my small minded fears need to be entertained in the current state of unknowing b/c my heart says.. not yet..

“you don’t know darling. you certainly have no control.  all is uncertain.”

so that is your practice- to stay open. to stay here.

This entry was posted in general.

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