Being home with the lights turned on.
Seeing it all with wonder.
“When I was little”… pours out of my mouth. The sensations of childhood & teen years… explorations floating through my body… echoes of slammed doors, laughter from a whole family, but this time in love.
A place where once… mostly pain lived. Mostly suffering and confusion, explosive emotions. A life not worth living.
In wholeness. The full circle of life.
The rhythm. the season.
It is the same. My view is different. Instead of being dragged around by others beliefs, expectations, thoughts or needs. I am free.
I hear the drums and feel the dance.
I see the beauty everywhere. I curl up with the trees and the green comforts me, nourishes me. It was there all the time.
Now I see. Now I see.
As we get older and that wisdom comes forward- we have the capacity to expand our awareness and our little tiny world and find truth.
In this one life, no matter what I leave or give or do.. I know I saw. I know I believed. I felt. I loved. I lived. I healed.
And I am human. I had a loss this past year that is still painful and confusing.
I watch my grandmother approaching the evening of her life with mostly grace and strength. We talk about what happens when.
I never want to live a day without her.
I cherish this breaking dawn, this day where I can write and hug her, talk about the weather and what we are having for dinner.
A life of the regular same old, same old.
Just for this moment.
To be home, healed.