We had such a gorgeous night tonight. LO friends and teachers- oh I love these women!
I have to admit I was a bit nervous… back on my feet and talking about the book. I’m still a little uncomfortable talking about myself so much… Promoting the book, talking about how I wrote it, reading my own words out loud.. You see, I LOVE to share the beautiful words and thoughts of others. I do this well, all the time. But now, that I have to articulate my own view, opinion and clarify what I stand for and what the journey has been like.. I am actually finding it rather hard.. I woke up this morning to notes and emails and texts from people I love who were not able to be with us last night, but who were with my in spirit, in heart, in soul. And I think about the ripple effects that loving people ACTUALLY has on our life. That reaching out, showing up, saying yes and offering a hug or a smile, HOW MUCH THAT REALLY MEANS.. and then how we pay it forward. I KNOW people left our event last night hugging their loved ones a bit tighter, waking up today refreshed with a sense of purpose and meaning that NATURALLY happens when we circle. When we take the time to get together live, move and breathe and go deep together- it HELPS US GET BACK ON TRACK or STAY THE COURSE.
oh my loves, I feel scared and excited about this all. I feel like I am opening my heart daily to the community and to supporting others and I’m also dong it without a roadmap, a guide or a final destination. Do you know that I like A PLAN? I mean, I REALLY do.
But this time, I will just keep saying yes.. in a way that feels GOOD. I wrote in my journal this morning, I will trust. I have no idea what lies ahead. Today, I will do good things and laugh and play and be quiet and to all the things on my life list. I will feel all the ways I want to feel and I will participate in activities that bring me and our family joy. And I will plan the week and move my body so that I don’t get STUCK in my head. The moment I drop into my breathe and feel my aliveness, I usually STOP thinking so much. With all the changes and unknowns, it’s a time when that imposter syndrome/ negative self talk likes to come by for a visit.. “WHO ARE YOU TO DO THIS WORK? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT IS WORTH SHARING? THIS WONT LAST! ” She says.. I know she is trying to protect me from getting hurt, she is trying to keep me safe and at status quo.. and I tell her SHHHH..
I pull out the journal, I light the candle. I feel my body. I re-calibrate the day, the feeling, the thought, the moment. And I see the small steps. The little things. AHHHH.. there I am. enjoying this. playing with it all. creating the kind of life I want. Okay, Okay. I got it.
I’m not really in control here at all. Yes, I see. In the meantime, having Saylor with me last night was amazing. I love that this is her childhood- hearing us talk about life, being with beautiful women…. DANCING! MOVING! BREATHING! YES!
I do this for me, I do this for her. I have never been a parent of an 8 year old girl before. I don’t know how this goes BUT I do know how to love and breathe and open my heart and do work in the world that is meaningful and interesting and I do know that I can show her love by taking care of myself. That I can model for her my humaness, my values and my integrity by being a person who lives and breathes from her heart, from her soul, from a place of yes- even when it’s SCARY or uncomfortable…
We made these special journals for our DELIGHT LIVE friends. I would love for you to have one, too. email me firstname.lastname@example.org to learn how.
PLAYLIST from our Party
Breathe Again -Sara Bareilles
Shri Guru Charanam- Krishna Das
Hallelujah- Lindsey Sterling
Around The World- Daft Punk
Roslyn- Bon Iver & St. Vincent
Intro- The XX