Delight Live

We had such a gorgeous night tonight.  LO friends and teachers- oh I love these women!

I have to admit I was a bit nervous… back on my feet and talking about the book. I’m still a little uncomfortable talking about myself so much… Promoting the book, talking about how I wrote it, reading my own words out loud.. You see, I LOVE to share the beautiful words and thoughts of others. I do this well, all the time. But now, that I have to articulate my own view, opinion and clarify what I stand for and what the journey has been like.. I am actually finding it rather hard.. I woke up this morning to notes and emails and texts from people I love who were not able to be with us last night, but who were with my in spirit, in heart, in soul. And I think about the ripple effects that loving people ACTUALLY has on our life. That reaching out, showing up, saying yes and offering a hug or  a smile, HOW MUCH THAT REALLY MEANS.. and then how we pay it forward. I KNOW people left our event last night hugging their loved ones a bit tighter, waking up today refreshed with a sense of purpose and meaning that NATURALLY happens when we circle. When we take the time to get together live, move and breathe and go deep together- it HELPS US GET BACK ON TRACK or STAY THE COURSE.

oh my loves, I feel scared and excited about this all. I feel like I am opening my heart daily to the community and to supporting others and I’m also dong it without a roadmap, a guide or a final destination. Do you know that I like A PLAN? I mean, I REALLY do.

But this time, I will just keep saying yes.. in a way that feels GOOD. I wrote in my journal this morning, I will trust. I have no idea what lies ahead. Today, I will do good things and laugh and play and be quiet and to all the things on my life list. I will feel all the ways I want to feel and I will participate in activities that bring me and our family joy. And I will plan the week and move my body so that I don’t get STUCK in my head. The moment I drop into my breathe and feel my aliveness, I usually STOP thinking so much. With all the changes and unknowns, it’s a time when that imposter syndrome/ negative self talk likes to come by for a visit.. “WHO ARE YOU TO DO THIS WORK? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT IS WORTH SHARING? THIS WONT LAST! ” She says.. I know she is trying to protect me from getting hurt, she is trying to keep me safe and at status quo.. and I tell her SHHHH..

I pull out the journal, I light the candle. I feel my body. I re-calibrate the day, the feeling, the thought, the moment. And I see the small steps. The little things. AHHHH.. there I am. enjoying this. playing with it all. creating the kind of life I want. Okay, Okay. I got it.

I’m not really in control here at all. Yes, I see. In the meantime, having Saylor with me last night was amazing. I love that this is her childhood- hearing us talk about life, being with beautiful women…. DANCING! MOVING! BREATHING! YES!

I do this for me, I do this for her. I have never been a parent of an 8 year old girl before. I don’t know how this goes BUT I do know how to love and breathe and open my heart and do work in the world that is meaningful and interesting and I do know that I can show her love by taking care of myself. That I can model for her my humaness, my values and my integrity by being a person who lives and breathes from her heart, from her soul, from a place of yes- even when it’s SCARY or uncomfortable…

We made these special journals for our DELIGHT LIVE friends. I would love for you to have one, too.  email me pleasance@lilomm.com to learn how.

PLAYLIST from our Party

Breathe Again -Sara Bareilles

Shri Guru Charanam- Krishna Das

Hallelujah- Lindsey Sterling

Around The World- Daft Punk

Roslyn- Bon Iver & St. Vincent

Intro- The XX

 


simple

the simple life. I have been on a quest for this for a while now. WHY? Pulling back is a practice for me especially because I am someone who is motivated and capable. the alternative did not seem to be working. I am someone who has ALWAYS had a too full closet, fridge, purse, life. But there came a point when that did not feel good anymore. I felt like my life was speeding away from me….. my body told me in different ways (losing hair, adrenal fatigue, weight gain)- and it was up to me to listen. 

Here is what I notice when I simplify….

1. I feel calmer & peaceful more regularly and for a longer period of time. 

2. I experience a more in tune, in alignment exsistence and less up down and all around mood swings. 

2. I feel clarity and strength in my mind and in my body. 

3. I see my life. I see my children. I feel them. I listen. I hold. I touch. I am here.

4. I feel more joy & ease in all areas. 

5. I feel as if my days are full of the things I love & moments that are uniquely delicious to me, at this time in my life.

6. I feel my aliveless and my wholeness. I am sensitive to the changes in nature and my own rythms. I feel empowered by this awakening. 

7. When I have a big emotion or a painful loss I feel it. I have time and energy to mourn and experience grief & discomfort. This is HUGE as I believe it is also the access point to transformation and growth. Having time to experience hard things without shoving them down or numbing them is a reason I feel resilient, stronger and clearer about how big this gift of life is and its powerful preciousness. Nothing, NOTHING is taken for granted. 

When I began to let go of being superwoman, I began an investigation into my actual wants and desires for this life.

Now… it looks like this.   Having work time each day. I LOVE to work. BUT this had to be contained. I challenge myself to do 90mins on and then break. Some days I get another 90mins and others I stop. Depends on the day. 

Also, since I value our home and healthy food I have to make time to take care of these areas as well. If they are top on my values list, then they need to appear regularly in my schedule. 

Cleaning, planning, moving and resting are also on the list in order for me to have mental health and do all I want in the world. But if my schedule or the kids is too jammed- THIS GETS PUSHED out and I do not like how I feel…. since I run our family life ( for the most part) it is my job as the leader to keep my team members ( kids and hubby) thriving by routine, play and free time. We ALL get it in our house. 

I like to help my community and attend events 1-2x a week.  It used to be 5-6nights a week…. So I have trimmed that down and It feels great.

I have my next book mapped out & I am feeling called to get it in the world. So that is something I am marinating on. What can come in and what should go out. 

But today will not be lost on me. And I hope you pause and think of 1 area you can simplify. Here are some suggestions. 
Simple practices to help nourish you.

Yoga

lay on your back. hug your knees in. breath deeply. lengthen your legs towards the sky. spread your toes. breathe deeply. move with your breath for 5-10 minutes

Meditation

sit tall. long spine. lower chin. relax. breathe deeply. relax jaw. relax space between your eyes. inhale and exhale for a few minutes. give yourself a break. breathe for 5-10 minutes

journaling

sit down and free write for 2 minutes. I desire… I want to feel…. I am moved by…. I hear…..keep going with whatever comes up.

food

challenge yourself to make a meal this week with very few ingredients. take out all the bells and whistles. enjoy nature’s food as pure and clean and fresh as you can. prepare it with your heart. your kitchen is a sacred space. clean and organize it. treat your food with love. and take good care of what goes in. 

fun & play

plan something for YOURSELF that YOU enjoy, truly your own joy. a dance class. an art class. an alone date. something. do it now. put on calendar. something just for you. sometimes my fun/play is just a walk by myself in the woods or in a neighborhood I don’t know well. 

♥️

email me pleasance@lilomm.com with any issues/ challenges you are having in making simplicity a part of your life. I love having these conversations around how to make our lives work for us.

TRUST ME. I know it is hard. But then, it isn’t.  It is empowering and divinely beautiful to have the strength and intentionality to play & live on your own terms. 

2 books I love

Essentialism 

The Power of Less

This is from Mark Whitwell’s site.

Love this quote and the meaning…. so good. so true. 

What is PAUSE?

A few years ago I started consistently attending retreats.

I went to a few Business retreats, Women’s retreats  and a few Meditation retreats. What I noticed when I came back and shared my experience ( feeling refreshed, nourished and renewed) with others I always heard the same thing…

” I wish I could do that.”

“I can’t seem to get away.”

” I’m can’t  afford that.”

” That sounds wonderful, how can I find the time?!?”

So, I took this LONG list of all the reasons you CANNOT do it- and I removed the obstacles.

#1. You CAN. All ages, sizes, levels are welcome.

#2. Our day long retreat is RIGHT in Tenleytown, DC. Metro and bus accessible.

#3. We made it affordable for a 1 day retreat.

#4. The retreat takes place DURING school or work hours. Which means you DO have to take a mental health day from your life/job AND I encourage you to let go of the busy to do-ness of your day. BUT if you have school age kids- drop them off, come relax and then go pick them up.

What to expect.

*Loads of quiet. movement. stillness. community. peace.

*Simple, practical tools and techniques that you CAN take back to your life to integrate into your non- retreat like days.

Our next session is Thursday, May 19  9:30am-2:30pm located at IMCW 4708 Wisconsin Ave NW

Questions? pleasance@lilomm.com

Bring a journal and a lunch. ( or feel free to go out for lunch)

“Silence is a source of great strength.” – Lao Tzu

lets be clear…. 

Feeling inspired to clarify a bit around what I do and what I want to do more of… this is silly but was fun and from the heart.  And after working with women all week in my privates and groups- hope this gives you a feel for my perspective on having a yummy delicious life. 

Also- its super scary to put out short video clips that are not perfect and are from the soul. Telling the ego to shhhhh a bit. It’s the only way I will truly be able to serve- there is no perfect moment, perfect script, perfect lighting. 

 when you want to help people… the time IS NOW. 

Before it’s live- a love story.

Milo lays next to me, hugging my arm. Breath flows softly. I am catching up on emails and the last few to dos before I go offline from my regular life for 3 days and then a 4th to rest.

My book, Delight,  launches tomorrow and then I spend 2 days with other authors talking about our books and our biz. I can’t wait.

I have been home for a month on my surrender sabbatical. I spent lots and lots of time learning, listening, reading, resting, thinking and being. And now, It’s like I’m being shot out of a canon back into the world.

Today my doc said that I can drive and take my boot off at night to sleep. So I am getting some of my freedom back. But, the truth is I liked being home. I liked laying low, having no plans and creating my days, my life as I wanted.  THE PRACTICES WORKED to keep me calm and sane and present. There were hard days, hard moments. I went through them. I felt them. I came out. I did what I could. Cried when I needed to, worked when I had the energy, and had quite a nice time with all the silence. And spent a lot of time laughing and smiling and living.

I am thrilled to say that I think this sabbatical has given me profound insights on HOW TO MOVE FORWARD. What I want to do, take with me along the way. I have never been on my tush like that for a month. I have never taken time off like this before.  I hope my schedule is never that full again. I hope I continue to do meaningful work that lights me up for the rest of my life. And I hope I’m strong enough every time the work changes ( WHICH IT WILL)  to keep finding new ways of being. To keep creating. To keep going.

I learned that my beyond- amazing husband makes good coffee. That I love the light in my bedroom. That petting my dog for more than a minute is really nice. That I like to do 20 minutes of yoga RIGHT before the kids come home from school. Then I am truly welcoming and present for them when they rush in the door, tired and hungry.

I have a list of things/tools to film and write about for students based on feedback from classes and privates  that they need to help them go deeper with habits in wellness and learn more about yoga & meditation that is accessible to them. I can’t wait to get it going next week .

And, suddenly, I feel like it’s the night before my wedding. Tomorrow my book comes out. And I’m sitting here missing the studio. Missing the omm and the purple wall, the twinkle lights, the  oil/hippie smell, the gathering of my peeps… it was my comfort place. I am re-living all the memories and the moments and my heart aches to have it back, just one more time. But this is NOT a normal feeling for me, it’s just the one I have tonight- as I TRULY move forward. Change is hard. And I know these feelings are just coming up BC  tomorrow, I step into being a published author.

It feels like the night before the wedding when you are SO EXCITED to jump into your married life BUT your reminiscing about boyfriends from the past, wondering how they are and what they are up to and if you are making the right choice.. It’s like- I KNOW I want to be an author, share these teachings and this work, help people and create wellness AND I’m scared to do it all “on my own”. I have had the teachers and staff, the classes and students for so many years- and been known as someone who supports mothers, babies, children.. so as I evolve- what’s going to happen to the programs I love? I feel like I have been holding them tight, and close b/c I’m afraid. And tonight, it’s time to let them go.

Not goodbye forever, but I don’t see myself doing it the way I have before. AND if I am TRULY going to focus and serve my students and am clear about the work I want to do, and the financial stability I need to have ( a longer post coming up about this and the work I have been doing around mindset and $)  I can’t be leaking energy everywhere. I have to contain. I have to put up more boundaries than I have before. This is some serious shit for me. B/c it’s so much easier for me to run away, say YES, teach a million classes, give away my energy and my power and go into debt to serve others.. that’s really what I have practiced for  my life- over doing to prove my worth and value in so many ways, over and over and over… AND as I write about in the book, Delight. THAT TIME HAS PASSED. it’s over. it’s done. That’s an old story that has to change. And the time has come. Like a nervous bride,  I will show up tomorrow READY and AWAKE and PRESENT to celebrate and navigate all the changes with as much grace and compassion as I can.

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. ”
– Rumi

 

love & loss

Last week I lost 2 loved ones who I had the privilege of knowing from the lil omm community.

Annie Lou was a  prenatal yoga student of mine, a beloved community member, a wonderfully creative and fun human being who profoundly changed the energy in our city.

Annie Lou wrote this farewell letter that was in the program at the funeral. I have been reading it every day. It’s like a prayer, a gift that she left us with. It’s for everyone. All of us. we must remember, “Please enjoy your life. enjoy each day, spread love and good cheer and happiness and share thoughts and fun with others.” okay darling, we hear you.

The messages are so INCREDIBLE. So real, so moment to moment, mindful, alive, spirited, and PLEASE, PLEASE take it to heart. Let’s all do this in honor of Annie Lou.

We also lost the darling and spirited Eli Ortiz, a 3 year beauty who danced and stretched her way into our hearts. We hold in our thoughts and our prayers the whole Ortiz family, especially Emi, Eli’s twin sister.

Here is how you can help her family and others.

I’m not sure what to do or say with this much suffering and loss. I have been mostly quiet about it- and then I knew I had to share about these 2 beauties, these 2 loves. B/c they need to be REMEMBERED to be held in your thoughts- to be prayed for and and noticed and known. Annie Lou and Eli- you were special to me. to our community. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being.

Last night there was a rainbow over Washington- a double actually, and rainbows were significant in BOTH of Annie Lou & Eli’s life. It’s not a coincidence.

I am home mostly these days, nursing my broken foot and so it’s quite a miracle that I looked up and saw the rainbow through the window. I happened to be on the floor of my bedroom, stretching and playing with my kids- when the rainbow appeared.

we held our breaths, we saw the colors, we wanted to chase it and follow the magic.

My own heart wept for the families. For the love, for these beautiful rays of light that came into our lives and changed us forever.

Death teaches me to love life more. Reminds me of this fleeting moment, breath, time here. Death brings the most intense pain and sadness and the deepest appreciation for the sun rising, the laughter in the living room, and the sensations of a hot bath on my achy body. Grief rises and falls in my body and in my heart these days, embracing the totality of all of our human-ness.

“The world and life is so beautiful and interesting and vibrant. Love it.” – Annie Lou

IMG_2091

 

Finding My Way- Journey

So, it’s super scary to send a ton of emails with your draft ebook attached.

And then to wait.

It’s Saturday afternoon, the kids are out. My house is quiet.

In the long cold days of winter, I wrote this ebook about my adventures in transformation. About my super unhealthy habits and ways and how I’m always questioning them and asking myself the meaning and purpose of life. And how I’m always finding my way back home and I’m blown away by all the healing that has happened.

I know it’s a bit intense. I know I’m not for everyone. I know I’m more woo-woo than ever, BUT I still drink beer, eat pizza, and love to be naughty once in a while.

I’m finding my way. As I  navigate a new world- stepping out behind the classroom, the school, the studio to see what I STAND FOR. What do I believe?  Is this message important? Does it just contribute to the NOISE in the world?  I often feel like I am saying the SAME as so many others, that my voice is not original.. not ME enough. I’m exploring the ways in which I get lazy with thoughts- just replicating that psycho-spiritual babble that can so easily annoy people…  Can you be into spirituality AND into intellect AND into just living a normal, simple, great life?

Big HUGE questions. Do I …. pursue a life on my own terms. coaching, writing, teaching to make a living TRUSTING that I  can help people. that my experiences will translate to clients, INSPIRE AND MOTIVATE them to live great lives- because if  I can make the changes and redirect the trajectory of my life, ANYONE can. Really.

Why have people come to me, my whole life with questions?  Why do people lean on me for advice and hugs and strength when they need it? Creative thinking, taking action, making changes comes SO EASILY to me. It’s just who I am. I have ALWAYS been a leader, even when I was leading people to underage drink, sneak out or smoke cigarettes at basketball camp. I mean, honestly- I could have easily gone in a whole other direction and used my influence in very destructive ways.

The thread of my whole adult LIFE has been healing, helping and supporting others. I have been on a mission to live a good life EVEN when the cards were not stacked up that way. It’s like once I decided I was NOT going to destroy my life, I started doing EVERYTHING possible to have an incredible experience here on earth. Building things, saying yes, moving forward, moving backward, crying, loving, trying, asking, finding great people to surround myself with, facing truth, being alone, reading everything, reaching out, taking action, feeling scared, leaving things when it was time.. Whoa. I’m only 37 and I feel like I have had 4 lifetimes already.

I love it.

I’m finding my voice, finding my way.  This new world on my own, just writing and thinking more about what I want for our world. Do I have what it takes to move this forward? There are a number of things I need to “get over” to make it happen. to hold fear’s hand and say “WE GOT THIS”

Here’s what I know.

We NEED people on our side. We need creative support & ideas to inspire our healthy habits and practices. We need coaches and yoga teachers WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH TRANSFORMATIONS. We need real people writing and speaking and laughing with us.

People who show feelings, acknowledge the joys and sorrows and who study. Who learn. Who know they don’t know it all! I want to always be in learning mode.. and I want to always share what I am learning. AS it grows and deepens and expands.

I don’t like to spend time thinking about the past, or how far I have come not b/c it’s  too painful but just because I spent SO MUCH OF MY life in victim mode- and now that I am FREE of that- I see so much JOY in today! in this moment! and I want to savor it.

Writing the e book  took me back. Reminded me of what was. I hope that those of you who read this will help me move forward. help me by sharing with others who might feel lost- letting them know, hey- I know someone who might be able to help you.

I am focusing my energy on HELPING people get to the REAL HEART of what’s going on with them- the real PRACTICES and routines that can heal them.. and this takes time.

Building trust and relationships, showing up for one another, taking RESPONSIBILITY for your life. Whoa. that to me is HUGE! when I did that- everything changed. EVERYTHING.

I’m breathing deeply here.. putting myself out in the world. Standing tall and strong and brave in SERVICE to my community, to the BEINGS who need help people who think   ”  I don’t know where to start. I want more from my life! I want more energy and passion and love. I want to feel good in my body and in my mind. there has to be more! ”

I don’t have a cute tagline, or a one size fits all way to do things. I don’t have a perfect book or a perfect program. I’m just opening up to you all- that I’m going to try to do it my way. Which is transparent and authentic to real to what my experience is.

My yoga teacher always says, “I’m sharing with you what I know now. And it might change. In fact, it probably WILL change.” But isn’t that amazing! We can teach what we know RIGHT NOW and what’s truth for us- Allowing it also TO CHANGE. And letting that be okay too.

You guys are just seeing the “behind the scenes”  of creation. Of Biz Building. Of what messy, creative, multi passionate entrepreneur life is all about.

When I started writing this, it was cloudy and overcast- and now the birds have come out and the sky is blue. In just a few minutes time, everything changed. And I am different too- When I started writing I was in my “AGH! must write and get it all out mode” and now, as I close- I’m breathing deeply. I am feeling all of you, with me. I feel supported and loved. I am CHOOSING to feel love. I am CHOOSING to feel brave and I’m going to press publish and you will be inside my head. You will be with me.

That’s what I love about writing and reading so much- the connections that come alive. You start in one place, and end in another, isn’t that magic?

Thanks for being here through this ramble.

Finding my voice today, finding my way. #allthefeels