B.R.A.I.N & R.A.I.N.

Thanks to one of my darling motivated students who asked me to post and remind her about BRAIN practices & RAIN practices for when she needs them.

I know I use  BOTH regularly in my life, so I hope these help you when your life is stressful or you are navigating a tough decision or facing some intense emotions.

Let’s start with B.R.A.I.N. I know this acronym is used regularly in the birth world when talking about birth plans. HOWEVER, I find this is a very helpful guide towards how to navigate ANY decision in my life!

B.R.A.I.N. 

Benefits- What is the benefit of this?

Risks- What are the risks around this decision?

Alternatives-Are there any alternatives?

Intuition- What is my heart/gut saying?

Nothing- What happens if we do nothing and and / or wait?

 

Here is another technique that you can use that is very helpful for some of our students. You can find LOTS more here. 

R.A.I.N.

Recognize.  See what’s going on.

Allow. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Investigate ( KINDLY) Be gentle with yourself, please.

Natural Awareness. Relax.

****Let me know, pleasance@lilomm.com how you are using this in your life,

I would love to hear from you. *****

Please note- I have seen and read about both of these tools in many places over the years and am grateful that they continue to be shared in many formats. I don’t know where they originated at this point, b/c I have seen them in so many places and I thank all those who continue to share and the original creators.

Once Upon A Time….

There was a girl who had a lot of dreams and big emotions. But she was not sure what she would do with them.  She  went through years and years of feeling sad and disconnected and lonely in her life, even when she was surrounded by people. 

When therapy and travel did not heal the pain, she lost hope. So, to cover the numbness- She worked more. She did more. She gave more. She questioned more. She proved her enoughness more. Stillness and quiet were scary and only for lazy, boring, unproductive people… and she wanted to be amazing!  

that crazy busy thing did not seem to work that well. lots of stress and physical pain. unhealthy habits in order to keep going and a resentment about responsibilities she had agreed to.

And then, she found her way home. Using yoga & other tools from the wisdom traditions. so she did more, read more, learned more, sacrificed the “normal life” to put spirtuality at the top of the list and she  began feeling better and better. things started to make sense. The deep longing for connection began to actually happen in everyday life. 

She learned that it was not about what was happening on the outside, that it was always about what was happening on the inside. and with years of practice, she started to see the joy that existed within. 

the light and love that no one could take from her. she began to explore and dedicate her life to learning more about these practices. 

and there are times of doubt and fear but mostly an inner peace and trust that is present when she listens. and now the journey to sharing this in new ways with others who have those same questions, big and small, those same feelings- IS THIS ALL?

and with a strong and compassionate Heart- a fearless and brave answer rises up- to say YES. This moment of anger, this elated joy, this incredible sunshine, is our life. It is now. Embrace those doubts and worries AS signs of life. Acknowledge them and dance forward side by side. It is the proof that YOU ARE ALIVE!

And the girl rests. She opens her eyes with a new softness that only wisdom and pain and heartbreak and wonder can truly  unlock. We know. We feel it.

We hear you,  sweet girl.

Stay awake.
Stay with love. 

#allthefeels
  

On Sabbatical

3 weeks ago, I broke my foot.

I don’t know how much longer I will be here mostly at home, foot up.

At first, I resisted a bit and cried as I could not wrap my head around my life with no driving or taking care of my family.

And then I allowed, embraced and accepted.

“THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING YOU TO SLOW DOWN.” They said.

“Okay, but I’m already slowing down. I already let go of so much the past year, how much more do I have to go through? What am I supposed to be learning here?”  I asked. No answer.

A week later, a shift happened. Oh, I get it now. More to let go of. Truly, Truly, at deeper levels than I was able to see before.

The only way to get me TO SEE, TO KNOW, TO FEEL the profound shifts that are happening and are going to happen is to plant me at home and put me to rest. REALLY rest.

this broken foot says,  YOU MUST LISTEN.

this is what I hear.

But the thing that I know about transformation is that- it’s unclear often as to the WHY, at least at this point. We often know it’s hard and we are confused, what’s next? what is happening? what about all those things I KNOW to be the way? Shoot. Maybe I was wrong.

TRUSTING in the journey, the experiences and the challenges means that the real WHY is still yet to be  come or not. that this just may be an experience to have along the way.

and it’s really just my job to rest. to let go. to un-do. Can I listen? Have no plan.

When you don’t know when you will heal, you cannot have a plan. You just wait.

I have a choice this week and the weeks ahead to step into my surrender sabbatical with curiosity and joy, with awareness and allowing RATHER THAN to do lists and knowing, knowing, knowing. IT’s hard for me, not always easy. I teach what I need, too. I share what I have learned a long the way.

Last week, door open .. I took a nap. I let the spring air come in. I relaxed into it. I felt at ease.

“We stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s truly essential and what’s actually irrelevant. We’re running around doing what everyone expects- chauffeuring, cleaning, volunteering- convinced thats our obligation as women” Barbara Stanney, Agh!, yes, this feels so close to home. The first week I broke my foot I listened to so many podcasts, read books and filled my brain with all the self help stuff that I could take. And it did not work. It actually made me feel WORSE, less than and sitting around here I felt lazy. So the second week I pulled back, trying on more rest, less planning and more listening to nature, and my body and not so much over stimulating my brain with other people’s thoughts, tips and advice. That worked well.

 Sacred Success  is a book I am reading that has a whole chapter about this moment I am in. Identifying lifelong patterns with value and work loads and relationships with careers and money and challenges and changes. It’s fascinating b/c she talks at length about this Surrender as a time of releasing and letting go, learning and insights as a path towards Greatness. I don’t know yet, but I’m willing to try.

Now, I’m facing my own new beginning. I’m just breathing into what needs to still go from my life. just be where I can this moment and how to clarify what my mission is, what my vision is for my own life and how I can help people along the way.  The thing is , I am a VERY high functioning, capable person who is used to doing WAY  more than the average person and as I talk about in the book, Delight- I get to the heart of that matter. And now that I have, I feel a bit unsure. unsettled. unsteady. I am scared of the call. It feels like a lot, and I have to remain very vulnerable to write and live and work from my heart. Putting myself out there, it can be rather scary. And then, on top of it to have all this time.. YIKES- could be a disastrous combo for personal narrative to appear and tell me some negative nonsense.

There is some clarity , some slow steady work going on all while teaching from home and leading my SpringTHRIVE class and just feeling deeply this need for a new way of being for me. Not doing a million things but doing a few, well. it’s starting to seep in- even though I don’t know what that looks or feels like yet. I have 70 blog drafts I’m not ready to publish and notebook after notebook of ideas. That I’m just letting it all be. I’m marinating, relaxing and see what appears. I don’t have a problem with action- I have more discomfort in NON action.. so this is my practice!

Here is what I have learned the past few weeks though. Of all the people who I have  surrounded myself with who are successful and have made massive changes in their lives, they all came to this point. They all had to stop and clear space. They took time away to examine thought patterns and to question the work they are doing in the world. And moved forward from a place of, I know and I’m willing to try.

Can I teach, serve, inspire, express myself in a truthful way, try new things, create, lead and love my family all from a place of abundance and fulfillment?  I feel scared and vulnerable, opening up  like this- to tell what I am facing with how to move forward BUT I know that I don’t do well hiding things not being open about what I’m going through. And I hope it helps people see all the roads are winding! There is no clear path or one way. And in the end, we can’t control what bumps appear anyway..

I read this and cried.

And listened to this wisdom.

This is for all of us.

May I be happy. May I be at ease.

May I be clear with my values and my worth.

May I learn from my past and may I move forward with love into my unknown future.

  • I am fascinated by a whole bunch of content that came my way AGAIN over the past few weeks on ego and soul and how it appears in our life & work …and I find interestingly these relationships also has a bit of masculine and feminine qualities as well.. and I have been thinking a lot about how this plays out in our lives…. if you are interested in this- just let me know pleasance@lilomm.com- I’m going to record a talk or a video about it and hopefully facilitate a conversation around this, would love to have you join me. thank you so much!

I see you.

I see you there, afraid to shine.

Questioning.

Wondering what to do next?

Who you are, now?

How did my life get like this?

Where and why did I get lost  along the way?

The daily life of to do, to be, to impress, and I don’t even know who I am?

I hear you, mama.

I know you feel like you have to give YOU up to be there for them.

But, what if you didn’t? What if you GET to be you and be a good mom.

You are okay, just as you are.

You shine, they see you & love you so much. Stop to notice that.

In the moments you are cooking and folding and washing and racing, the eyes are big, look at me, mama.. I see you, they say.

They know who you are, without all the layers that are weighing you down.

You are good. You are kind. You are love.

I see you mama. Come with me, let’s embrace who WE are, in order to love them more.

To live our lives with our own strong, wild and fabulous song.

Let them SEE US LIVE. NOT DROWN.

Today, May I be happy and free. May I put My own joy at the top of my list.

May I allow small, simple, beautiful actions to be enough. Pause. Breathe. Notice.

May I give love and in return be kind and generous to myself, first.

May I make myself a priority. May I breathe deeply, stretch my miraculous body  and

remember to take good care of it.

#allthefeels

I wrote this poem today inspired by some conversations I have had recently with my friends who ask good questions. A few of the ladies in my life, who wonder, do I have to sacrifice my joy to be a mom? is this just how it is? Is there happiness and health and education more important than mine? My answer is no. They are not to be compared. Let’s do both. Let’s take good care of ourselves AND our children.

I wrote a book about it, in fact. for all women, not just mamas. Delight is coming in April.

The book will give you practical strategies to find your way home to yourself, with the purpose of bringing more ease and joy in your daily life. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.

I use simple yoga and meditation tools and principals and share my journey to joy.

The book will be free when it comes out April 14, if you want to help me spread the word and get a copy- email pleasance@lilomm.com and I’ll put you on the list.

With a big heart,

P.

 

Wet eyes, full hearts

Today, I spent time going through dozens of emails gathering words from students about the work lil omm and I have done over the years. The purpose was to UPDATE my blog,  with new, fresh and REAL words from students. Whoa.

The memories, the laughs, the tears, the gratitude our community has had! It’s a lot. We had a space that really invited people in and saw them as they came. what a gift. I know that was good work, and I know it lives on!  Even as it changes, and shifts and ebbs and flows..and expands into new realms. The expansion is actually really cool. I’m stretching myself in whole new ways- online classes, filming home practices, writing consistently mostly “good enough” posts. 

The fun thing is to create offerings and classes that feel authentic to the kind of teacher I am now, to the person I am now and to help share allthe teachings  that I have learned with others. WHY? b/c they WORK! they give you joy! and energy! and love! and authentic relationships and they heal. It’s not easy work, per se- to see the truth and FEEL ALL THE FEELS.. but I know it’s real SOUL work. I posted a picture on Instagram of the Soul VS Ego work that keeps showing up in my life. I’m journaling and exploring what that looks like for me.

For us, to keep it going. It’s all changing, that’s for sure- but here is what I know- I teach what I need. I write what I need to hear. I am who I am and the more I accept and love her, the more I believe this is the right way.  Can I really, I mean REALLY trust that this path will bring me freedom, financial, creative, flexible abundance and the meaningful, purposeful service I KNOW I need to make in the world.  I took the 6 Human Needs test recently and was reminded that my top needs were TIED between Contribution – The need to contribute to that which is beyond you and  Growth – The need to grow and develop. DUH! but now that I KNOW , KNOW it in my bones- I have to continue to build my life around this.

I have faith in the work- And in the meantime, check out our updated website lilomm.com and blog lilommlife.com which highlights the whole thing- the ups and downs , the ins and the outs of transitions. LIFE LIVE.

#allthefeels,

Pleasance

PS. This rocks. for ALL ages.

PPS- I have been dreaming about a class where we dive into some self-study using a variety of perspectives/angles. I have been creating a list of tools ( Strengthsfinder, Enneagram, How the World Sees You, etc) and think it would be fun to explore all these tools and see how they help us in our lives? Does that sound interesting to you? email me if that’s a yes!

Being a WRITER?!?!

I really do think it’s true that sometimes  the SIGNS are all around us and it’s up to us to hear them. And it can be rather scary to step into our Power. WHY? I’m asking this question all the time, these days. Ego vs soul. living, writing, working, breathing. everything Ego VS. soul. ( more soon on that)

I avoided the label ,”writer” for the past 37 years. But I eat, sleep, breathe books, words and writing. I have journals that literally fall out of the closets and drawers, in every purse and bag and room in the house- books and journals. reading and writing. simple as that.

I have been looking out the window to notice things, my whole life. But never wandering away to a far away place. Always seeing just what is.

I always have been an observer.  a watcher. seeing people. seeing beauty.  seeing grit & grime and rawness. feeling it all.

Earlier this year, I was told about an intense book writing process where at the end of 12 weeks you were done.

Jan – April and then you would have a book. I signed up when I was terrified, lost, scared and unsure of what was next. And just to be clear, I still feel many of those same feelings in the same moment that I feel deeply connected to my source, my power, my truth and totally on the right path.

WHY NOT write a book in one of the weirdest, hardest times of your time- sounds PERFECT.

and it was a tad messy- to say the least, but I stuck to the plan that my mentor outlined. I followed the rules, I let go, I got out of the way and I wrote a sweet little self help book for women who  want more Delight in their daily life. I had NO CLUE in November when I picked  Delight  for my Word of the Year that it would be my book title?!?!

This sweet little book was actually quite fun to write and I’m grateful to have gone through the process. It was incredible.  But, there’s more.

I have the book to support the work I am moving into.. helping women ( groups and individuals) make healthy choices to live with more joy and ease using practical daily routines, rituals and practices.

But I learned something along the way.. writers like me have VARIOUS platforms, outcomes, inspirations, canvases. What appears in my journals comes from a different part of my brain than what goes on this blog about a lil omm life. And the book was all about giving people a taste of what I believe, what I practice and WHY.

And sometimes it all aligns cleanly, and sometimes I think- “you SHOULD write a blog with the 5 steps to BLAH BLAH” ( b/c I see everyone else doing that content BS) and then I REBEL and say F*IT! no one reads this anyway! or cares! TOO MUCH noise!

write something meaningful. who cares if it “attracts clients?” “fits the outline for best ways to get followers? more numbers! more likes!” AGH! I can’t keep up with all that- that’s WHY I left studio life… never ever was enough. ( even when it totally was) and it never WAS going to be enough- no matter who the landlord or rents where.

So, I’m going to free myself from this being anything other than total creative space.

write for and from my soul. write to step into the stories we all share. what feels relevant and alive and interesting.

write from my heart to yours, one being to another.

that is the outcome. TRUTH. LIVE, WONDERFUL, BOLD, COURAGEOUS, MESSY LIFE.

So, now that I step into the whole WRITER thing… my friend Deb Ager who IS a writing coach asked me to help lead a day long workshop! It’s on Mindfulness And Writing- how we integrate the 2 in order to complete the web copy, brochure, blog, book, article!

How fun! You can learn more here.

 

wobble, wobble, relax

I have shared these instructions before.

Mostly, in relation to meditation, Erich Schiffmann’s words. 

And now, here is my morning.

Wake up at 5. Sit up. Feel tired still and decide to go to the bathroom, wash my face and change my clothes.

I stand up and feel the pain.

Wobble, wobble relax into it.

ahhhh… I can feel the pain and the stress loosen a bit.

I do that and return to my bed to meditate.

I prop the pillow for some bed med. I longingly look at my meditation cushion and pillow which for now, lays un touched. Gathering dust while my foot heals. 

I will approach this space with curiosity and wonder. Its okay to meditate in bed. Its okay to stretch my legs out, instead of fold them. Its okay to be me, just as I am.

In this moment, this is my practice.

The chimes ring, I realize I have been thinking almost the whole time. 

Inside I think, wobble, wobble relax.

My mind was wobbly, my body wants to move, my foot says, relax.

I get my flashlight and read for 10 minutes, ” Sacred Success” 

Hello divine feminine power. hello Thursday.

chime. pause

I put the book down and see dawn. 

The dog barks, My husband rolls over. 

I am so cozy.

I snuggle back down under the covers and feel the sheets, the blankets, the birds are singing lullabies not wake up calls. 

with windows open,  I go back to sleep.

When day officially begins, I start to find my way downstairs. It takes so long now.

I approach one step, and then the next. Creak on the stairs, nervous of weight bearing down.

I hug the wall. I relax, thank you.

I feel supported by this home, by my husband and friends, by this wall.

But mostly of my practice. Because all I need to know is to trust the process. 

in essence, life will always be this. wobble, wobble relax.