“wobble, wobble, relax”

my darling teacher tells me this as an instruction to meditate.

RELAX? 

Yikes, feels so big. what will happen if I do that? will I unravel or cry or fall down? become lazy, unreliable, disengaged? 

RELAX.

My dad told me this as a child when I would get too crazy, hyper, loud or upset. It REALLY pissed me off. 

will I loose control of the life to which I have no control? Will I wake up to this mystery & believe that all I love will ever be here again tomorrow, in the same way? 

Will I get wild, loose my way, chart my course? Write my next chapter?

the instruction, RELAX, has become listen. pay attention. wake up, lady.

You cant busy yourself out of loss or imperfections. 

Playing with my softer side- exploring the landscape of open fields or prairies instead of committees and endless thinking projects. 

A life, telling the to-do lady to hush and the to-be lady its okay.

   
 

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