This list.

I have read all of her books and blogs for many years… she is quite an inspiration to so many. I think mostly b/c she says things we whisper to ourselves but never say out loud.. things only our hearts and souls really want to hear. Things that sometimes don’t make ANY “sense” in our lives.. in our day to day, but only live in our dreams, in our deepest, darkest places.

She does her own thing AND then tells us to go be our own people- don’t try to be her- just be YOU. She just keeps flowing with what is authentic to her, right now…

She’s bold and beautiful in a non traditional way- kinda like saying F- YOU to the ways in which we “should” do things.

This is from her recent blog post .. and I feel like I have sent bits and pieces of it- to EVERY WOMAN I know.

with love, P.

I’m working on my own list…

28 of the Best Things I Ever Did by Danielle LaPorte

1. Started treating my office like it was a real room that was worthy of my best treasures, not the “spare room made into an office”.

2. Drinking hot lemon water in the morning. Great for digestion, skin, alkalinizing.

3. Admitted that I don’t like managing people, and therefore I am not excellent at managing people. Good news is, I’m an excellent leader.

4. Took voice lessons with Awilda Verdejo — It changed.the.way.I breathe. And if you change the way you breathe — your relationship to your power shifts.

5. Got a hot tub.

6. Stopped bringing clothes to consignment stores. The money is rarely worth the time and hassle (and mild humiliation. “What do you mean you don’t want to re-sell my parachute pants?”) It’s way more gratifying to give or trade clothes with friends or donate to a charity store.

7. Put my bed on the floor. You want better grounding, grinding, and good sleep — lower your bed.

8. Got light-darkening shades in my bedroom and removed anything that blinked or flashed. Sweet Lord Jesus circadian rhythm happiness.

9. Downloaded the whole Deva Premal library, began studying mantras. And then…actually used them. Om gam ganapataye namaha.

10. Invested in a Sonicare toothbrush.

11.  Kicked gluten.

12. Found a wonderful local food fairy to make me delicious dishes every week. Promptly decided to not feel guilty for having a food fairy.

13. Went through with the divorce.

14. Self published the first edition the The Desire Map. I put the book out in a few months rather than the few years it would have taken with a traditional publisher, and I made full profit. That gave me solid ground on which to negotiate when a publisher I adored came along. We created a really unique deal for book production, distribution and sales. Triple win.

15. Stopped trying to have a NYT Bestseller and just did my own thing. It worked. Over 75,000 copies of The Desire Map are in print.

16. I became harder to get to so I could have more ease in my life. If it impinges on my creativity or being home when my kid comes gets back from school, I’m a No, Thank you.

17. Put up serious boundaries with people who took great pleasure in not taking my boundaries seriously.

18. Got an elliptical. Used it.

19. Decided to bag the parenting books and to just be really honest all the time with my kid.

20. Got my boy a guitar and filtered through guitar teachers until we found the one who said, “Forget scales. What song do you want to learn to play today?”

21. Started taking my work with the healers in my life more seriously — treated it as essential and ongoing learning, rather than a “fix” when I was in crisis.

22. Got a financial planner who is a Feminist.

23. Started going to spin class. Hooked.

24. Went back to a vegetarian way of life. Tho’ I make guilt free concessions for really crispy bacon and grass-fed cheeseburgers.

25. Started working out with two other girlfriends. Holy motivation. And sweaty, lung-burning laughs.

26. That danger zone between 11:30pm and midnight — where I get my third wind of the day… I stopped pushing through that to check more email or start another project — and I shut ‘er down. If I’m in bed before midnight, I fall asleep right away. If I pass the danger zone and stay up — I get re-wound and it takes longer to unwind for sleep. Anything I think I need to do after 11:30pm can wait until the morning. For.Sure.

27. I let the pain soften me. I let the joy soften me. I let the desire soften me.

28. Stopped responding to text messages immediately just because they were “text messages”. Remember when not that much was urgent?

Here is a link to her blog. 

Here I am…

The ways in which I heal.

 

 Thank you, loves for reaching out and giving support after my post about being sick!

The great news is I a feeling better! And able to live in my life with more energy and health.

HERE IS WHAT I did to recover. I hope this helps YOU at a low point- or share with something who could use it.

  1. GET HELP. I reached out to my acupuncturist, chiropractor, natural doc &  a nurse practitioner. They all have different perspectives on health and knowledge and were able to give me support. Oh and my therapist who I see once every few months. Not only did I need to focus on my physical health but also mental.

2. LISTEN. I practice something called conscious listening ( thanks Erich Schiffmann)  lay down on your back, knees bent and  elbows bent, palms up. RELAX. LISTEN. CHill. Here is what I heard. Healing takes time and there was much more stress in my life than I had thought on the surface. When I stopped to listen, I heard a gentle reminder to rest. I was able to see a but more deeply what was really going on beneath the surface of my external coughing and illness.

3. LEARN.  I learned a lot about my self that I was ready to face. I’m super sensitive and in some ways this helps my life and in some ways, it hurts. I think I have been STRONG for almost every tough situation that I have faced and now I’m realizing that I’m also soft. That my strength and my softness are integrated physically in my body type, energetically in my being a gemini, and mentally as in.. I am not one or the other but I am BOTH strong and soft. I am going to learn more about strategies for people like me, who internalize others emotions and fears. My intuitive nature is a gift, I know this. And I need to learn how to keep it in a healthy range.. more to come on this, for sure.

4. PLAY. Once I was feeling better I did not JUMP right back into crazy schedule or working late or stressing out. I went out walking/ jogging to dance music, I headed back to my favorite Zengo classes, I read blogs & listened to podcasts that inspire me & got back to my creative projects in my art space… I have a lot of work to do- and plenty of time to do it. I do a little each day- with top priorities in my mind, and I’m trusting that my health and well being is just as important right now. Especially these last few days with the kiddos before school starts.

5. BE CURIOUS. So now that I’m back to health- I’m curious about what happened the past few months- and here is what I found .. I changed some things in my diet in March that I don’t think were right for my body. When I met with my natural doc, we wont over all this- and I now have added some new supplements and am working with her to see/ make sure that I’m getting what I need to have a strong immune system. My husband is working a lot more than he has in the past.  I’m trying to make our sweet rental house, a home as well as take care of our family full time and run the studio.. and it’s a lot of work.  We have been communicating the best way to navigate this all as things change….. we are in the process of shifting our own flow.  The old way wont work this year- so creating new family habits for this school year feels good that fit more authentically into our life now.. ( new school for milo, no nanny, mel working a lot, etc)

6. BE ALONE. AS much as you can, whenever you can.. get some alone time. This past month, I have spent a lot of time alone. I went on a meditation retreat, went for walks alone, laid in the grass on these gorgeous days when kids were in camp, stayed overnight at my house a number of times while Mel took the kids to the beach or my mother in law came for a visit, I drove to a girls weekend, alone.  Being alone nourishes me in ways I can’t describe.. it serves me in ways where I just feel totally spacious- free- and where I learn more about this journey. THIS being ALONE IS NEW FOR ME. I was ALWAYS inviting people to tag along ,organizing a party, lunch date or group outing of some sort. I have always been social and wanting people around me- so to tap into my sense of inner quiet by just being alone- feels new and interesting and intentional. Right now, this is what I need, and it’s been really helpful to my soul. I think as I ease into a busier season, my cup will be full- and I will be able to handle with ease and comfort the demands of my life- partly b/c I spent this past month exploring quiet , choosing alone time over group time and listening to my own deepest desires.

7. BE HONEST.  Telling people how I really feel and what’s going on with me in an honest way has been refreshing. I don’t always have to answer, ” wonderful!” fabulous!” I can answer from my truth- which is ” I’m okay”.  Telling your truth about your life does not have to be dramatic or off putting or bring people down- it can just be real. ” I’m going through some changes and have not been feeling well, so it’s been tough. But I’m getting a lot of help and support and things are looking up.” Seems to be truth for me!  And I ALWAYS ZOOM OUT- when I’m feeling down, and that helps put everything in perspective. I have met some amazing people at the studio this summer and was able to spend some time with them – doing mini coaching sessions and working with them as they move through their own transitions- that work is so beautiful and has more meaning to me- b/c I can honestly relate to the fears that we all have as part of the human experience… honesty is community, is trust, is support, is a real gift.

Oh and if you have not seen this.. I hope it inspires YOU to be BRAVE, and REAL and put yourself out in the world….DO YOUR THING!  http://brenebrown.com/2015/08/05/manifesto-of-the-brave-brokenhearted-the-rising-strong-book-trailer/

IMG_7988IMG_7939IMG_8161

after I sit.

The seeker asks why?IMG_6814_2

and the heart says to trust

and the tears fall for no reason or every reason

I lean into the suffering of us all

while the beauty of today seems

like a magical dream

living with my soul- letting the heart guide me feels so scary

not a habit or a hurry

just a deeper understanding of all

that was buried and still

unfolds

each year

each day

each moment

each practice

let her go. be free I ask

stop trying so hard

you dont have to be amazing, she says

relief. gratitude. tears again.

relax, the gripping begins to loosen. realizing new layers of self and identity that are old news, really.

be free sweet soul- go

wander.

do not be careless with now.

start again

I got off track a bit.

I lost my mojo- I felt like I couldnt find a way out. 

I had been sick with for 2 weeks… and I was less than thrilled. Feeling depleted, restless, wiped out and questioning- WHY???

I AM SO HEALTHY! I DO SO MUCH TO KEEP GOOD HEALTH, damn it!

FRUSTRATED & ANGRY.

I dont really thrive when this is how I wake up. Tired of resting and mindful that all my go ~to remedies were not able to cure this one.

I eventually put my tail between my legs and asked for help.  When I felt better I was able to get back to my source of strength. I walked in the woods, alone quiet- getting strong. 

Learning how to navigate my own energy & to roll on as things change all the time. The past few months I have been taking on more home responsibilities as my husband’s work demands have increased.

Its been quite a rocky yet incredibly beautiful time parenting. when I get to be here every. day. routine. schedule. dinner. dishes. dog. solid quality time, for sure.

and in some ways- that feels GOOD.

and in some ways, I want to run out the front door to paint, drink wine, go to France, frolic, travel & maybe fall in love again? 

and then my heart would ACHE for the little bodies and for the unconditonalsupport  my hubby gives me. we cant win. 

always wanting more, different, better and then missing structure, simplicity and youth when it fades- 

today, I will start again. get up & stretch. sit quietly for a bit, contemplate daily joys & maybe plan a future trip for saylor & I to Paris.♥️
    
    
    
 

Worth Sharing.

My friend Michelle sent this to me, from Elizabeth Gilbert’s FB page. I LOVE THIS.

I wanted to put it here on the blog so it would not get lost and so those who just wander over here time to time, would be able to find it , read it and contemplate.

Hope it stirs up some shit for you- helps you get clear- and let go of the crap you don’t need anymore.

it’s your life- set the intention. Who KNOWS where it will go- and what will happen between now and then..

11695963_865522170196566_1785908972700735732_nDear Ones —
So this little quote showed up on my Instagram feed the other day, and it hit me in the guts — like “OOF!”

I can’t stop thinking about this idea, so I thought maybe I should share it here and open up the conversation around this concept.

First of all — does everyone understand what the quote is saying?

Here’s the simpler translation:

“If you don’t have a plan for where you’re going to be in five years, then — after five years has passed — you will still be exactly where you are right now.”

Holy cow. That’s bracing.

A little scary. A little exciting.

Look — maybe you absolutely love your life, exactly where you are right now. Maybe you feel like, “If my life looks just like this in five years, then I will be the luckiest person in the world.” If so — awesome! Just keep going just as you are, you blessed soul, and count your lucky stars.

But maybe you can’t bear your life where it is right now. Or maybe you feel stuck and you want to shift things for yourself. Or maybe you like your life, but you dream of something new.

If you haven’t put some kind of concrete plan in place for how to change things, then it is very likely that five years will pass (more quickly than you can imagine) and you will “already be there” — which is to say, you will still be right here.

So let’s talk about making plans.

My wonderful husband always says that our past doesn’t matter nearly as much as our PERCEPTION of our future. So let’s carefully try to perceive our futures in the best possible light. If you can imagine that your future might hold some promise, some difference, some transformation…then happiness can start to grow, even in this present moment.

What might it take, to perceive a different future for yourself, five years down the line?

I’ve heard that the only way to make your dreams come true is to begin by writing them down. I do think this is the truth. Writing down your goals and dreams creates a disturbance in the universe — calls down the attention of your guiding spirits. Writing down your goals also causes a disturbance in your own soul — wakes you up, and makes you take notice of your own desires.

So this is my Friday challenge, everyone. Take a moment today and write down exactly where you want to be in five years. Be honest. Be brave. Be ambitious. Be aspirational.

Who do you want to be spending your time with (romantically, or otherwise) five years from now?

Where do you want to be living?

What do you want your health to look like?

What do you want your creativity to look like?

Where do you want to be working?

What do you want to have put behind you by then?

If you are dreaming of an escape plan, what might that escape plan look like?

How much money will it take to make that dream come true — REALLY?

What are you willing to give up, in order to have what you really want?

Do you honestly need all the things (and people) that you think you need, or might there be a smoother, simpler way?

And what steps can you imagine beginning to take right now…to transport you from HERE to THERE.

Because one way or another, five years is going to pass. In half a decade, you will either be standing exactly where you are right now, or you will be standing somewhere completely new. You might even have turned into SOMEBODY completely new. (Biological science teaches us, after all, that five years from now, every cell in your body will have been replaced, and thus you will be a completely different biological entity than you are right now. Talk about a resurrection story! Pretty cool, right? So how about becoming a completely different emotional entity, as well?)

I made my list this morning: WHERE LIZ WANTS TO BE IN FIVE YEARS.

My list surprised me. My list involves getting rid of even more of my material belongings, giving more to charity, and living on a beach. My list involves a lot of travel with the people I love most. My list involves a trip to Japan. My trip involves driving across Greenland, and walking trip along the coast of New Zealand. My list involves writing for a TV show. (WHO KNEW?) Most of all, my list involves a radical emotional shift in the way I handle resentment, forgiveness, anxiety blame and shame — which might mean I need to be doing some serious work on my psyche over the next five years.

OK, then! I’m up for it!

I didn’t even know I wanted all these things…but apparently I really want these things.

Now that I have seen it all written down, it has become real. Now I must work toward getting there.

What about you?

Five years from now. Picture it.

WRITE IT DOWN.

Make it real.

I’ll meet you in five years, everyone — and we can compare notes!

ONWARD,