“Wholeness is the goal, but wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. The sooner we understand this, the better. It’s a truth that can set us free to live well, to love well and, in the end, to die well.
I can’t think of a sadder way to die than with the knowledge that I never showed up in this world as who I really am. I can’t think of a more graced way to die than with the knowledge that, as best I knew how, I showed up here as my true self — able to engage the world in freedom and with love because I had become fierce with reality.”
Earlier this year, I declared 2015 the year of WHOLE. It was my word of the year. I came to it in a round about- not too sure why?- kind of way. Over the past 6 months, it has shown up. WHOLE. WHOLE. WHOLE. Then today it knocked me down. I read this. And I felt it.
THIS IS WHY I PICKED THIS WORD. I read this over and over, maniacally scanning the words, letting it soak in, BIG HUGE EXHALE, feeling the honesty that penetrated my soul. My head nodding. My heart racing, it always does when I can feel the connection- feel the YES! please! more of this. I read this essay and feel like I could HUG the author, talk for hours. Ask questions. go deeper. I want more. YEs! this is the truth I’m seeking. WHOLENESS. being broken and loved. being sad AND joyful. I want more ways to bridge these gaps, to hold hands of others with NO ANSWERS. it’s not about KNOWING the way, it’s about SOUL TRUTH TELLING. it’s about that common human experience that actually draws us closer, always.
it’s about saying, ” I get you. I hear you. I see you. I know.” that is practice.
This pull towards feeling WHOLE is real in my heart and soul. it’s in my bones. and it’s NOT always pretty. It’s not white fences and smiling children on beaches 24/7. THERE IS DOUBT. THERE IS deep sadness & an overwhelming joy.
and this, REALITY has led to my freedom. I want others to feel, see, touch, know it. So, I share. truth and strategy, happiness and pain. As always, things are shifting, I can feel it. We have these experiences and we can’t turn back, we can’t be the old version of us- only the lighter, more truthful ones. when we reflect, step back, seek out nature and do this MORE. it happens. it really does. so here I am. in this bliss, in this always evoloving, ever changing, always magical world.