I was doing so well.. or at least I thought I was. I held it together, I planned it all. I was really feeling STRONG after some quiet down time, a trip to Kripalu, lots of meditation and then suddenly.. I opened a door and the reality awakened me. My teacher always says, take care of what is in front of you. right now. take care of what is right here. right in front of you. what is here. here. here….
and today, I opened the door and there it was. clear as day. something I need to take care of came knocking. and blew me over.
I fell apart rather quickly, I went through a wide range of emotions that just led to a meltdown, a letting go, a release.
I know we will get to the other side of this and that it ALL happens as it should. I know in my heart that I can handle this and that I will survive. But, I’m scared. And I’m confused. A bit lost.. a lot unsure.
So, instead of answering the 200 emails.. or filing the paperwork or doing the bills.. ( the list goes on and on and on)
Right NOW I need to soak in the tub. breathe a little. clear the schedule. care for myself. relax and release that’s the skill to learn, to practice in REAL LIFE struggle. IN. JUST. THIS. MOMENT.
the one where I stand in confusion and suffering.
(I remind myself)
is the time.
As I have been telling Saylor all the time lately…
She believed she could. So, she did.