into my soul- 2014.

“In setting her Gratitude table, a stream of candles lined the centerfold. She invited the friends of Trust, Love and Peace. Together, she let Joy and Inspiration mingle with Magic. Her gingerbread cookies danced and the icing slipped off because nothing is perfect. Everything is just the way it is supposed to be, and her genuine laughter tickled her glow.”

from this blog. wow.

This is it.

a perfect picture of how it all happens. how things unfold.. as I sit and do the work to craft this year.

I feel the fear& intensity that bubble up. endless possibilities. which direction will I go? which paths to pursue?which idea to follow?

For the past 4 -5 years my husband and I have retreated in the winter to the Delaware shore. (the same beautiful, magical, peaceful spot I lived at this summer)  During the summer,  it’s hot & crowded & full of life. In the winter, it’s cold & quiet. The most beautiful mornings of awakening and evenings of cozy winter sunsets with so much sky. family time. down time. creative play time. lots of food & wine and just rest. Naps live here along with movies & pjs.

And a most SPECIAL time just for me. At night, or early in the morning- I plan. I dream. I wish for the new year. I set my expectations for myself, my bness, my personal life. Last year I decided I was going to RETREAT. I set a plan to eventually stop nursing and I planned a silent meditation trip, which led to one more & one more & one more….

Last year, I sat in this same seat.. dreaming, wondering, curious, investigating. Self Inquiry is a huge part of my life. navigating the ever changing internal world of a kind of messed up teenager turned passionate public school teacher, turned yoga lover, turned mama, turned studio owner, turned … who knows what’s next. But I do know there is something here.

we all keep changing. this is not MY experience. it’s OUR experience.  We all keep wearing different hats, changing roles, charting new territory….

I have NEVER been a married mama of two kiddos, running her own growing bness before.

AND IT IS TERRIFYING… this whole thing- it’s like NEW every. single.day.

Some may say this is all “silly” or “self indulgent” or “just playing” but I promise you…. it’s the way I have come to make solid, life changing decisions. The way I have come to know so clearly, who I am. The way I have continued to dig deeper. (sometimes daily) To be more “me”,  more of the time. Every winter I play with my creative side, with logistics, with my heart and my calendar. I map out the next few months, my goals & my time. I set boundaries. I play with freedom and content. I set the intention to continue to share what I do with others, to inspire others to do this work for themselves and share it with the ones they love. Turn off the TV. Sit down and breathe.

My idea of healthy living is pretty simple… eat well. sleep well. play well. love well. be kind. practice. daily& daily&daily…. I try to make sure each of these lovely days I have are a mix of all the things I truly value. family. health. community. connection. Here’s a glimpse into my 2014. This year, I need a WHOLE book  to capture it all & I’m using The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte to help guide me in new directions…. (email me @info@lilomm.com  if you want to talk about creating something for you or if you need any help along the way)

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