blessed.

this is my favorite day of the year.

a day we come together and notice all we have. thanksgiving is a yoga day. a connect with family day. a day to play & offer up our deepest gratitude.

today these things come to the top of my list.

1. the LO teachers & students.
there is no lilomm without devoted teachers and diligent students. our vibrant and diverse community is a light in my life. a place to connect in this crazy busy world. a place to slow down and breathe. the best part of the 4.5 years we have been open is that I carry with me all the teachers and students who are not physically with us here in DC anymore. What I feel now is the LO love expanding around our world. so that LO is NOT just a space.. its a feeling, a joy, an openness and a dedication to being engaged, inspired & connected.
it is this place that has given me a full integration of work/ life ” balance” and I notice daily the privilege in my life of whole- hearted living as a mother & as a community business owner.

2. Milo. This year, I am especially grateful for my biggest teacher- Milo. He is a spitfire of a soul. He is moody & adorable… sweet & then angry. Living with a 2.5 year old can be confusing and frustrating but this year… I reflect on how far we have come. A terribly difficult pregnancy and challenging powerful birth- this little dude was a “teacher” for me before I even laid eyes on him. He nursed all night long for his first 6 months and would not take a bottle. I was beyond tired and drained from how much he ate. Then I started loosing my hair and I did not stop. Was it his birth or all the nursing or not sleeping or was it the stress in my life being a mom of two and moving the studio… I will never know. But this is the moment I learned and started to practice self care.

last winter, little milo became sick all the time & he stopped gaining weight. from jan- june he had a number of asthma attacks and we spent a lot of time in & out of doctors & the ER. it was scary. it was exhausting. I felt lonely & lost as to how to navigate his health. eventually, he got the right nebulizer meds and for the past 8 months – our little guy gets twice a day steroids to keep him breathing “normally.”

this change of lifestyle has rocked my deepest beliefs about parenting..( long term meds& the ipad watching that occurs during a treatment) but I have practiced a deep letting go of how i WaNT things to be, how I EXPECT his life will go.. and I just stay with our life today. I look at the big picture and try not to get too annoyed with the way his little life has unfolded, thus far. I know he can grow out of this and that change is inevitable…. AND since I regularly practice “guilt free self care” I try not to let all the negative thoughts flood in & dominate my life. I notice them & send them away…

I am grateful for milo bc he continues to teach me life lessons that humble me, he shows me how different 2 kids can be, he is curious and strong, and he has so much life. I practice seeing him daily & watching who he becomes. He is a part of me & he stands strong as his own little dude.

3. my husband. 15 years together. mel has been my biggest fan. he supports me no matter what. when I change my career, when I jump into the fire, when I am too tired for him bc of all i give to others, he is steady. he is consistent. he is disciplined and he’s my rock. I need alone time on retreat. I fall asleep at 8pm on saturday nights and at every movie we watch. He & I have always been independent & he never picks at me for all the quirkiness… Mel & I continue to grow together OurMarriage is a gift that I am acknowledging today.

off to cook and connect…with a huge heart.

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practice

it honestly has changed my life.

the philosophy, the community, the studios, the practice, the kirtans, the books, the retreats, the stillness.

it has all drastically turned me inside out and upside down.

this practice gave me the gift of connection which allowed me to deepen my experience here on this earth.

before yoga, I was lost. always searching for something. inside I was a whirlwind of emotion and instability to all those around me.

now when I feel it coming.. I sit. i read. i call a soul sister and walk. I write. I practice asana. I get quiet and it passes.

it’s not always pretty and its most certainly NOT easy. To be in relationship- to feel hurt or pain. To “mess” up. to love so much.

“you must cultivate your practice over an extended period of time”

This is why more and more, each day- I’m sharing this gift with the world.

The more I teach .. and CONNECT the more energy I have- the better I feel. the more I can give. the more I heal.

I was always a bit wild. I was too intense, too passionate, too emotional.  ” You do too much . You care too much . You cry too much.”  they told me.

But, I believe this is all part of my gift to the world. To show you that you can love and throw yourself into the fire of  truth. Do not hide from your part, from your history, from your dark side.. and I think you come out vibrantly alive & stronger.

We always have a chance to change, to transform, to go deeper, to LOVE more .

I’m grateful for my creativity, for my playful side, for my NEW crazy CURLY hair??!!??

but most of all- every damn day I am grateful for the yoga. the simple stretches and teachings that gave me a chance.

that opened me up to live this life and that kept me alive.

 

“May all beings, everywhere, be happy and free.

And may the thoughts and actions of my own life contribute, in some way, to that happiness and to that freedom for all.”

 

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in the light

this weekend I taught 8 classes.

I shared the yoga love with every size- shape – age – color and level.

from teachers to students, babies, mamas & children &parents.. this beautiful life with changing trees and warm snuggles and walks in the woods.

while its busy & full & never ending lists & ideas.. I cant imagine another way.

I pause and breathe into this gorgeous & delicious moment that is sometimes filled with pain or sadness for the world but my eyes seeing clearly our deep connections. and I can feel the incredible
loss that the common human experience allows us to feel.
yoga is a privilege.
being a student of yoga is a gift.

my heart continues to expand – the more I give… the more I transform.

the more I breathe the more space I have to heal & to help.

good morning fall, good morning heart.

I was thinking this weekend about my connection to yoga on and off the mat.
I am finding it more difficult to articulate this divine experience I am having. the deeper I go- the less I have to say.

my mantra this week-
“watch out world. Im coming to change you”

I am going to love up everyone I see & come in contact with. all our beautiful students & teachers& neighborhood folks& people I walk by and chat with on thr phone. Its not a month of gratitude but a lifetime. declaring your patience & acceptance of those around you feels FREE! feels expansive & amazing! look how strong YOU become when you just decide to let go of being right or in control of anything. bc we don’t.

in peace& love

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little altars everywhere….

here are some shots of the little alters I have created in my home. I wanted to create a sense of joy & purpose& devotion in the areas I use the most.. organically these came to be my sweet spots for connection. When I wake, when I wash, when I dress- I pause, reflect, offer gratitude for all my blessings. Send a prayer to someone who needs it- and off I go into the world…. I hope this inspires you to create “little alters everywhere!” xo

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