when she comes, I burst into tears.
all my fears explode in emotion.
all my doubts are wet on her shoulder.
this teacher, sometimes stranger who deeply touches my soul and calms the crazy.
her presence does a number on me. each time.
I am in eternal transition.
” I feel lost” I told her.
” practice” she tells me.

“this is all your life” I hear her.
and then after going through the dark, murky water… I emerge.
I feel WHOLE. I see CLEARLY.
and that “fill up” is why I keep coming back.

* deepest of gratitude to Zen Buddhist Priest, Karen Maezen Miller for coming back to lil omm. Thank you for loving us.


you cant sleep when your “awake”.

there is too much beauty & love& work to do to spread our messages, to hold hands with ourselves& our loved ones.

I cant sleep when Im awake.
laying in bed hands to my heart. the creative feminine running through me.
flashbacks of women’s words.
truths & realities shared & shared& shared.

there was an opening, a shift, a gift I received. I cant touch it or hold it or put on a shelf. it lives in my heart and in each breath.

sometimes I would question- why me? all the sleeping folks look peaceful & seem to rest.

and now- I will never ask again. I know why. I see why I was born in this time, on this team, with these tasks.
its clear. connecting all the dots& the questions to lead to my truth.
to be awake- to STAY awake and to keep open to all the hearts & souls who walk down my street or into my house.



i could never have dreamed of this.
the deepest beauty in my soul.
boulder now,
and then, karen’s zen retreat where I will sit in silence with our community.

its beyond words- and only in my moving forward & sharing these gifts, these moments.

being alone. . walking with fear& courage. literally. alone hiking in a new city going on in adventure . where does this road lead me?
really listening to Brene. putting into action how I dive into my own gifts. share them, inspire them so others can do the same.
whole hearted living.

how did i get here? its as if I am home. the deepest integrations of who we are. join me.