To Say at 5

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and everything changed.  her whole life. my whole life. the depth of love only other moms understand. 

I carried this beautiful light of an angel for 41 weeks. 

inside of me this child of mine curled up cozy & filling me with love. 

so much love.

I was  loving her the whole time.

I spent hours talking to her , practicing yoga with her, sitting in meditation with her, singing kirtan with her & fully devoting myself to this new role.

 and then she was here. a life changer. 

she is lil omm. all the love I have for her  I poured into a center where we could wrap our arms around these experiences. new, scary, natural & perfect. with tears and hugs and smiles. 

our own hearts grew and over time our babies grew. 

 like no words can describe.

this journey that we are so blessed to be on. I  held her hand and rubbed her back, stroked her hair and changed her diapers. I read story after story and spent all this time cultivating an intentional relationship with her. 

maybe i over parented? maybe I under parented? maybe I used me heart to guide the way.

I was proud when she potty trained and felt overwhelmed with joy when she met her baby brother for the first time. 

 “mommy, i think i’m falling in love with you”  oh Saylor, I know the feeling.

 Prayer for my daughter  

by Karen Maezen Miller

May she be happy
May she sing, and make up songs
May she be safe, and feel safe
See shadows only for playing
May she seek and find
May her smile always find reflection in my own
May I find in her name the measure I need
And give give give.

Watching You, Watch Me. 

 She Watches Me

always mimics what I  say.

watching my every move
plucking my gray hair.

She wants me to sing & dance.

We play, play, play AND practice yoga and laugh while on my mat…

then she calls it HER mat.

She watches me when I  fight with her dad or

when I AM BEYOND  frustrated with her brother.

She watches me when I  cry to my friends  on the phone for a long time.

She watches me

meet new friends
hug new moms
breastfeed her brother
hug my dad
eat my veggies
interact with strangers
love my earth
put on my seat belt

lick frosting

drink wine

I want her to see me

participate
motivate
commit
execute
take action

inspire, love,  live with grace, compassion and patience.

Happy 5th birthday Saylor Eloise. I love you.Image

2 comments on “To Say at 5

  1. So beautiful and full of love. Happy birthday to Saylor! She is so blessed to have you as her mom. Thank you for such a sweet reminder of how important being present with our children truly is for both them and us. Lots of love, Candace

  2. Of course, what a fantastic blog and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your site.All the Best!

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