Time for a detox….

Nope, not food.  There will not be any green juice recipes here.

It’s time to step WAY back and detox, declutter your technology, your life to make space, to find calm and peace and to handle whatever stress is currently brewing. Many of you have reached out and said that you are not okay, that you’re having trouble sleeping, that you’re REALLY suffering from the pain of the world, you feel anxious, on edge, and overwhelmed by ALL The things.

In order to create clean systems and simplicity to have MORE SPACE for joy, we have to energetically CLEAR IT ALL OUT!

We have to wipe the slate clean. Time to PURGE. In order to evolve and flow with what 2017 is going to bring us, we have to do some massive energy clearing to make space for WHATEVER is about to come into our lives. WE CANNOT KEEP ADDING IT ON.

We cannot keep over scheduling, overeating, and overindulging in media and distractions.

Well, I mean, you can- but tell me how that’s working for you?

And in our modern lives it means. . .

  1. APPS on your phone. Time to clean out all the apps you DO NOT USE.
  2. Repeat above on ALL your devices.
  3. Clean out your drawers. Yep. 1 a week. Clean a drawer. Then do your closets. Don’t wait for Spring cleaning. Don’t live in extremes (cleaning 1 room for 8 hours in one day, anyone else do that?). Make tidying and clearing PART of your regular life so that you always have space for new things, ideas, creations, WHATEVER it is that life brings. I find TREMENDOUS mental clarity from doing 1 little clearing project a week, 1 hour a day or 1 project at a time. That is how I inevitably cleaned out my STORAGE basement and turned it into the beautiful yoga studio it is now.
  4. Don’t know where to fit this in? Add your 1 hour or 1 project a week to your model calendar as a way to MAKE SURE you remember to work on it! Oh. . . and I ALWAYS add joy to my project time. . . wine or music or a new show I’m watching. How is your model calendar these days? Is it working? email me, pleasance@lilomm.com, if not, let’s talk about how we can get you on track.
  5. UNSUBSCRIBE from everything that is no longer SERVING you, as many things as possible. (You get to define this for your current season of life)
  6. If you need media limits, give them to yourself. If you are VERY sensitive about what you hear on the news, don’t watch the news before bed. Be intentional with when you consume. Consume things that may possibly upset you, with tea, oils, candles – something that is also relaxing. I subscribed to the Washington Post and I read the newspaper in my comfy chair with my coffee in the mornings. I have recently given myself a Facebook detox and I’m taking a break from scrolling on Facebook. I want to have a bit more integration of what I read and consume and this was the best way for me to do that, right now- to trade my digital subscriptions for the old fashioned papers. I feel MUCH more in touch with my own emotions and actions during the day and I don’t feel like a rubber band of highs and lows throughout my days. I have also found that I have more specific time for action when I consume mindfully and do not overindulge.
  7. Just like anything, NOT TOO TIGHT, NOT TOO LOOSE.
  8. I think of media and “STUFF” and noise not as bad but manageable in moderation. When I take a good, clear look at how I’m living, I can see where I’m overindulging and I’m WAY more in tune as to why something feels draining or depleting. A regular energy check in helps with all of this. Do you feel tight? Nervous? Fearful? Have headaches, stomach aches, jaw clenches? These are all the PHYSICAL signs that out bodies are saying- LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! It’s too much! Your body MAY be craving quiet, rest, or silence. You are NOT your thoughts or your head, alone- SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pay attention to your body’s whispers. It has so much intelligence. And like I keep saying. . . WE NEED YOU FOR THE LONG HAUL.

Still stuck?  Here are my go-to tips for handing the overindulgence of anything. (Thanks for the inspiration Michael Hyatt). From money, to body, to schedule, to movement, to cooking….

  1. Accept responsibility
  2. Confront your fears
  3. Drop the drama
  4. Keep it all in perspective
  5. Triage your calendar (most important and urgent things only!)
  6. REST
  7. Do next important task/thing
  8. Decide to change your mindset and wake up to limiting beliefs

From here, I am able to handle the reality of what is happening.

I personally think BURN OUT SUCKS. It leads me to be.. cranky, tired, irritable, unmotivated, unhealthy, negative and resentful. So, the MOMENT I notice these attitudes popping up- I check myself… hmmm.. is this burn out? Is there something I need to shift so that my natural state (generous, calm, peaceful, loving, open) has room to breathe?!?!?!  I’m NOT saying that we should EVER push away emotions that we have or that we ever want to STRIVE to be a certain way all the time. It’s more like a curious investigation into self when something arises to say. What’s the truth here, really?

Quiet.

It started so fast and with such an intensity and then between the baby noise and the life noise and the studio noise… life just got to be too much.

I held the weight of it all in my body. In my racing and running. SCARED to slow it all down.

Years later, confidence and clarity abound.

Freedom and flexibility. Expansion.

I never knew if I just took REALLY good care of the basics, that I would learn to trust myself.

The season has changed. Now my babies are other PEOPLE living in my home. With preferences and moods and demands and smells and messy rooms and unflushed toilets.

And there is no greater, deeper, purer (is that a word?) love.

Sweet spot. Kids at same school, living a charmed life,  they are..and I know this too will pass. They will move on or out. I will get older. I will loose people I love. Things will change.

The simplicity of our lives together, all in the same home. We get along. We fit together. Right now, it works really well.

I have no idea what the future holds. I dream BIG dreams for my life and wonder who they will be, where they will live and how often I will get to see them and hold them…

I don’t drift off to far in the future, the present has too much to offer.

So I get quiet, a lot. I notice that I REALLY want to grow something.. I can feel Spring coming. In some ways, I am not ready to let go of Winter. I’m not ready for the season to change, AGAIN. I want to stay cozy and home and quiet and keep them close and wonder-FULL.

The sweetness of ordinary life, being lived.

 

Take Your Pulse

What does it mean to take your pulse?

Seasonally, CHECK IN.

Here is a SUPER Simple way to do it…

Think of 1-10.

10 being AWESOME and 1 being YIKES

Look over the topics and areas of life below and think about where you fall in that area, right now! In this season of life. Also, if something below is not part of your values or your life, then feel free to say N/A!

Once you KNOW generally where you are, you have a much better foundation from which to plan on what the HIGHEST priority for you to focus your attention and energy on.

Physical Health

Mental Well Being

Environment (work, home)

Finances

Relationships

Careers/ Purpose

Growth/ Intelligence

Pure JOY! /Hobbies

Spirituality

If you want to make slow, steady shifts in your life, it’s super important to take your own pulse regularly to see what areas really need your love. Give yourself permission to let the others go for now, or move to the back of the priority list, AND BE OKAY WITH THAT! Think about it this way, once you establish a habit, routine, and a relationship with one area and it’s SET, then you can ALWAYS bring your attention to a new area. NOT in a beat yourself up, never enough way but more a .. yeah- right now I’m focusing on establishing a meditation practice ( or whatever) so I’m not going to spend a lot of time and energy ALSO trying to start a journaling practice….  Especially since we know, we can’t do ALL the things, ALL the time.

Give yourself room to breathe. Oh, and email me pleasance@lilomm.com  with any insights- I LOVE hearing from you!

Daily Intentions, Simplified.

Want to have more intentionality in your life every day?

Okay, this will help . . . Grab your journal and give yourself 10-20 minutes.

  1. How do you want to feel in your life EVERY DAY?  Radiant? Energetic? Healthy? Beautiful? Thoughtful? Free? Creative? Productive? Connected? Loving? Helpful? Contributing? Wealthy? Mindful? Aware? Truthful?
  2. Make a list of what you value and what feelings are associated with that value.  For example, I value reading and writing. I want to feel FREE and spacious enough to make the time to read and write, every day! So, my values and my feelings are aligned. *And I know it may not happen EVERY, EVERY day- but it’s happening MOST days.
  3. Think about how your days and your life are currently planned out to support these feelings and values. . . or maybe how they are not, yet!
  4. Make a list of a few things you can add to your life now to help you cultivate the feelings you WANT to have each day or to validate what you are already doing. For example, I make time to prepare healthy food for my family a few times a week. This is high on my feeling connected, healthy and loving list. So, when I do it, I remind myself that my actions are aligned with my values. This REALLY helps prevent the whole thought loop of-” I never get anything done. I’m so far behind. I should…”
  5. Now, look at everything you just mapped out- and start to play with some ideas for your Word of the Year. This does not have to be too complicated. Look at all the areas you just mapped out and ask yourself- what is calling to me? What patterns do I notice? You get to choose something that feels awesome with the direction, motivation and place that you are in right now. It’s not for anyone else or to prove anything. It’s just a way to guide you through this year. Just a theme that you get to weave into your life and SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
  6. Choose your word of the year and it email over to me! (pleasance@lilomm.com) jot down in a few places (index card, bathroom, car, notes on your phone) your word to remind you throughout the year. CHECK in with yourself every few weeks or months with these same practices above and see where your word is showing up and let me know how it goes. I’m ALWAYS shocked at the end of the year how my word showed up, guided me, helped me, whispered to me. It’s a fun and meaningful way to engage more deeply with your daily life.

Freedom From Frenzy

In 2001, I was a first year, first grade DC public school teacher. I had 16 students in my class. No textbooks, no pencils, no makers, no paper. 5 days into my first year, 9/11 happened. Our school was down the street from The US Capital. Our school building shook all day from the planes overhead. The sirens, the energy, the noise in and around NE DC. I stayed in my classroom with the 6 year olds, until the last one was picked up after 4pm that day. I drove home on empty streets, quite happy to be alive. Shocked, mostly. Crying.

Later that school year, I developed a horrible pain in my hip/glute that was relentless. This pain left me confused about my body. And my body was something I almost NEVER thought about. I lived in my head, my very capable, highly educated, well traveled mind which had led me ( or so I thought) out of every bad situation I managed to get myself into and had given me EVERYTHING I had ever wanted. Ivy League Grad School, a great boyfriend, a full and impressive resume…My brain had encouraged me to push and force and do more and join everything. My brain loved being so busy. I felt very comfortable with busy. My mind chattered and chattered repeating thoughts, pulling my attention there there and everywhere. My favorite word was YES! I became ANGRY with my body for slowing me down. I had NO time for this pain.

I made a phone call to the local studio.

“I heard yoga is good for people with injuries. I have excruciating pain in my hip and my leg. I am 22. I have to exercise. I don’t stretch. I don’t want ANYTHING spiritual. I just want a workout. Do you have that?”

“Yes.” she responded.

“Come to Devon on Monday night. Beginning Ashtanga. Let me know what you think.”

And from that moment.. when I stepped into the yoga center. The SLOW, STEADY process of paying attention to my thoughts, my life, my mind, my choices.. started to unfold.

My life, a series of accomplishments and successes & wins were all part of this “illusion’ of enough-ness. An illusion that I am FINE and that I was strong enough to power through it all- that I could achieve “just as much as anyone else” even though I thought MY story was so sad.

But, it’s just not true. You see, before yoga- I thought it was JUST ME who was in pain. I thought it was JUST ME who had a traumatic childhood- and I was so wrapped up in proving myself to the world- that I lost ANY connection I had to my body, looking back I think b/c there was so much pain there. SO much right under the surface.  So much my body was holding on and since I would not sit down and feel it- I became more tightly wound. I took on more jobs, roles, responsibility as we do..

16 years later…

Somewhere along the way, I made the commitment to live a joyful life.  Ironically,  I feel the most joy in daily life when I accept and embrace of all the human emotions ( even anger and shame and fear and sadness)

Somewhere along the way, I took my seeking heart and began to share with others the teachings, as I learned them. You guys, read this! Oh man, you have to listen to this!  And it’s sort of all I have ever wanted to do…

I found teachers and books and leaders and retreats that took me by the hand and whispered, “YOU TOO! You can have this. You can feel good- No, wait BETTER THAN GOOD! You can feel ALIVE AND AWAKE not only in your mind, but in your body too.”

I began to feel the WHOLENESS that that has always, always been here.  By integrating the emotions and experiences in my life with energy and mind body practices, I was slowly able to sleep better, improve ALL my relationships, leave jobs or careers or projects when the time was right.  Was I really able to tap into my “intuition” this esoteric thing I had always read about but never knew could be real?

In order for me to radically change my mental and physical health it was going to take more than just yoga. And over the years when the time was right, one thing led to another, led to another….

Eventually, I began to experiment with food and become a Health Coach and a few years later learn more about Ayurveda..

And then I noticed, yep, this too helps.

Eventually, I met a teacher who taught me to meditate.

Yep, this too helps. New things began to happen in my body, in my heart, in my mind. Is that forgiveness? Is that pure love? Did someone say compassion?  Until meditation, I’m not really sure I had ever felt these for myself ( let alone others!)

And then  intentional journaling, morning pages, writing and painting and taking SUPER DUPER good care of my body with baths and gentle yoga and oils and foot rubs.

And now, this. A deep, profound trust for my life and about my life- no matter what the road ahead brings.

We are all perfectly imperfect. I accept myself for who I am. I know that when I take REALLY good care of myself, my life feels MUCH better. It feels more joyful and I feel at ease with whatever pops up. I’m not as controlling about my time, or my life or my expectations.

I stick the basics and I keep it simple- When I limit TV and get plenty of sleep, I’m more creative, playful, energized and I make better choices. When I eat simple, healthy food I am able to move my body and be strong and my back does not ache when I meditate. When I spend more time in nature than on the couch, I feel connected. When I show up for myself & keep my commitments, I learn to trust and befriend myself.

I’m not “somewhere” that you can attain or not attain.  I just am very curious about what works well for me, at this stage, in this season and there is NO WAY I could have done it alone. Meaning, we do this together. This exploration- this deep dive. We say- NOW is the time to wake up to my life. What choices ARE working for me, what choices ARE draining me? Am I living ONLY in my head? DO I need to take it down a notch? Do I have chronic pain or fatigue or need a ton of pills to sleep or wake? We were never meant to do this alone- remember when the aunties and the sisters and the mamas all lived near one another and cooked together and folded laundry together and raised the babies together? Yeah, it’s kind of like that.

I created Thrive as the playground for these wellness habits. A place to explore and try things on and see how they feel and keep asking, how does this feel?

What would your life look, feel, be like in 16 years? in 10 years? in 6 months if you experimented  with more of what (truly)  feels good and less of what drains you?

In Thrive we explore…..

Planning/Mapping-  The how & why it’s SO important for all the other self care practices. And how to love doing it.

Night- What are our evening rituals and routines to help us sleep better. Why are so many of us so exhausted?

Morning- Set the tone for your day ( your life?) Be inspired to FINALLY make getting up early part of who you are.

Move– Variety, enJOYment and consistency!

Stillness- Why practice stillness/ meditation and what are the ways to formally and informally develop this habit.

Nourish- There are so many ways to FEED our souls and ourselves. What are you putting in your sacred vessel?

Journal- This goes beyond the “dear diary” We learn about money love journals, scripting  ( law of attraction) and morning pages.

Service– Why service and giving to others is of UTMOST importance to our well being.

Mindset– What are the stories we tell? How do we get in our own way?

Creativity- Our lives are creative. How we dress, eat, play, move, sing, dance- how can we embrace our inner creatives and give them a little love?

Wealth- Alright, yep- $$ is totally part of Thriving. How we make it, what we do with it, how we hide it or throw it away and WHY? Reveal your $$ habits- the good, the bad and the ugly!

Does this feel like a lot to you? Don’t worry- you get lifetime access to explore these topics AND once you start to dive in to 1 area the others TRULY do fall into place. They happen more naturally once we start to pay attention to how they are related.

If you are scared, I think that’s great. It means something is calling you. You are ready.

Let your self love be your self care.

Ready to Thrive? 

When I sit

And then I stopped.

And there it is.

Right under the surface- the throbbing, achy- pain of life.

With the busy of playdates, lunches, phone calls and appointments, and even with the space of a long relaxing weekend… 

 when I finally stopped, 

I felt it all.

I am alone now, comtemporary adult rock in the background. Hot tea cooling down, people around coming in from the cold. The hum of city life all around and yet- 

just a regular old afternoon for me, waiting for the kids. 

But its the extraORDINARY moment slowed down. 

I am terrified. Today, MLK Day I have been thinking of legacy and justice, peace and hope for our country and at the same time I am trembling in fear of this week. 

What is about to happen to our country, what will we say to our children? History is happening right now. Our coming together, our being torn apart. All our deepest beliefs about human kindness and heartFULLness are to be tested. Will you show up to stand up? 

Sensitive folks like me, I know you feel it too. 

As our rights and our compassion are being put to the test left and right. The day to day feels the same and yet, everything is different.

But- Trump or no Trump, it is still the life stuff. When I sit like this and feel the vibration of it all around me circling -alive-I can let go. 

Have you ever just stopped and felt it all enough to know this life is changing now. and now. and now.  With no gurantees and no expectations. but just this moment as it is. We are so “advanced”, why is this truth, so simple yet so hard for us to live by?

And it’s in this moment, when I sit- that I pray for us all in here, in this world together. I have no idea if it wil help or heal- I know it won’t hurt. That the small acts with great love can be sitting here noticing these humans walk in the door-it is not much, I shame and blame myself for not being or doing more today. And then- I remember—-

“may you be happy, healthy, safe and live with ease. ” over and over. to you. and you. and you. 

I have read the science and felt the magic. this works. 

Peace in our hearts, doing what we can to be full of our strong voices and to breathe this precious moment.


When you can speak up, speak.

When you can stand up, stand.

When you need to cry, cry.

When you are tired, rest.

When you need love, reach out.

When your heartbreaks, feel.

When your mind races, sit.

When you have a song, sing.

When you have words, write.

When you feel it, share.

And in the simple acts, great shifts happen. Profound clarity and thoughtful activism from our own strength and courage, a life well lived.. 

may it be.